I'm struggling a lot right now with ptsd and I have no idea how to get through this episode in a healthy way. normally by now I'd hurt myself by cutting etc but I haven't because I've been clean for 2 months. I intentionally starve myself so I'm still not doing healthy habits and I need advice on what I can do to stop doing that.
I feel so much anger towards myself.
Almost 2 years ago I was raped on my birthday by my ex boyfriend and I left it too late to say anything and now nothing can be done. this will probably happen to someone else now and I feel so disgusted and violated I absolutely hate myself. I have no idea how to get through this. My friends and family are supporting me but my doctors aren't listening to me when I'm crying out for support and I'm scared that it's going to take something drastic for them to listen to me. I have no professional support. I dropped out of college as a result of this. I've cut off a lot of friendships because I have no idea how to explain why I'm upset all the time and I have nightmares every time I sleep and I'm extremely sleep deprived.
Ive struggled with ptsd for majority of my life because my dad would assault my mother in front of me and I was extremely traumatised from it. everyone expects me to be able to handle it now but I can't and I'm not being listened to when I say I need help.
I'm scared I might die before my birthday please give me advice on how to get through this and how I can get professional support. I'm really scared.