I need help for my brother. He has always been a bit of a loner and has never really had much of a social circle. I have been increasingly worried about his mental health for some time.
I live in Australia but I am currently in UK moving our mum out of the family home into residential care.
Our father died last September. My brother has not coped at all with any of this, he has not helped at all with packing up the house and has become increasingly more withdrawn, abusive and is very easily aggravated.
He does not communicate with me ( or anyone else as far as I can tell ) other than on a very superficial level, but will send extremely distressing emails and messages on facebook messenger. Any reply I send, he either ignores me or twists what I say to make it like I am doing something wrong. It is completely impossible to have a meaningful discussion with him about anything ! The people I know who have been close to him (ex's family) are also extremely concerned about him.
He refuses to believe (or admit? ) that he has any mental health issues but has now told myself and his ex - girlfiend, that he believes he is dying of, quote" UNDIAGNOSED advanced cancer".
According to his ex he has been saying this now for over a year. He now says he has been to the doctor but absolutley refuses to give any more information.
Just over a week ago now, he stopped all communication, even with our Mum. This is even more unusual than his "normal" behaviour. He has not been to visit and the only communication mum has had was a 2 word email saying " Am OK ". ( when he told me he thought he was dying , he said " Dont tell mum, so he doesnt want her to panic)
For the past 5 days we have ben unable to contact him, so yesterday I drove to his house to see if I could talk to him. I dont normally go there because of the way he has treated me since our father passed away. ( constant abuse). Long story short.....he didnt answer the door but it wasn't locked , so I went in. The kitchen is an absolute pig sty, the place was dark, his car was there but no sign of life.
I went upstairs...... He was in bed (6.30pm). All I can say about what happened next is that I managed to remain calm whilst being totally abused and yelled at and being told to "F Off". He looked terrible. He told me he hasnt been working, he told me he'd been to a doctor...but I dont really know if he has.
After going through this for the last 6 months it has now come to a head. ( because I am now in the UK). I honestly have no idea if he is physically ill. I do know that there is something majorly wrong with his mental health. Maybe this has made him physically ill?
How on earth can you make someone you care about realise the need help, if they wont talk to you ? ( or anyone else in the family)??
Hoping someone has some answers for me !!!
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