Support Forum

SANE Support Forum

Feeling hopeless

For when you're feeling particularly vulnerable...
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2021 5:41 pm

Feeling hopeless

Postby padfoot » Thu Apr 15, 2021 5:59 pm

Hi everyone, I'm new to this website and just found it today after looking for mental health forums on google. I'm 22 and really struggling recently with feelings of hopelessness. I've had mental health issues since I was a pre teen and over the past year have been suspecting that I have BPD or something similar but no diagnosis of that yet, just anxiety and depression. Around a year ago I took an overdose and thought I could never feel worse than I did then, but recently I have surprised myself in how bad I have felt. About a month ago my boyfriend moved 4 hours away for a temporary job which he will be at for a few months, neither of us drive so we have to rely on trains to see each other and he is working almost every day anyway. I didn't realise how much I relied on the stability of our relationship to be happy until he left and now my mental health issues feel worse than ever. I feel like I cant be happy unless I'm with him and am constantly waiting for him to message or ring me , not to mention the panic attacks I get thinking about him meeting someone and cheating on me. I know it isn't healthy to be so reliant on a partner for your happiness but I don't know how to change it and I have been like this with every serious partner I have ever had, it's like my whole life revolves around them and if I'm with them and everything is fine I'm on top of the world but equally if I can't see them or we're having an argument or break up I feel like my world has collapsed. My mum is an alcoholic and has been since I was 11 so I assume my anxiety around abandonment and such comes from there but I still don't know how to get over this. I'm scared of how I would cope if me and my current boyfriend broke up as I suspect it would be the worst I'd ever felt due to the seriousness of our relationship compared to my other exes. I can't talk to anyone about this really as I find it embarrasing how much I rely on him for happiness and know my friends would just tell me it's not normal (Which it isn't to be fair) and I can't talk to him about it because I don't think it would be fair to him and would cause him to feel a lot of pressure I imagine. Sorry this is so long. If anyone has advice or anyone can relate I would love to hear from you.

Posts: 1
Joined: Sun May 09, 2021 7:23 pm

Re: Feeling hopeless

Postby sm678 » Sun May 09, 2021 7:40 pm

This sounds really painful, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s absolutely not your fault you feel this way so you shouldn’t be embarrassed. I think you should be in a way proud of yourself for being so aware of your thoughts and feelings. I have similar difficulties in that my relationship can be the difference between feeling so so happy or cripplingly sad and scared. I try not to show it to my partner as like you say I don’t want to add pressure. The only thing I feel helps is knowing that the intense worry or sadness will pass and if I can distract myself for 30 minutes or so I will feel better when the intense emotion passes and I can have a more balanced view of the fear / worry etc. II use crosswords or looking at nice photos to distract. I think trying to be kind to yourself too, it sounds like you had difficult relationships as a child so it’s no wonder as a young adult important relationships can be tricky for you, that really really isn’t your fault and I hope there are people in your life who can understand that.

Return to “Safe Room”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 16 guests