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My Dog & I Have A Confusing Relationship

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wheezy0409
Posts: 40
Joined: Sun Nov 15, 2020 3:37 am

My Dog & I Have A Confusing Relationship

Postby wheezy0409 » Fri Jan 29, 2021 5:52 am

Before I start I want to say that I love my dog and she means the world to me.


I have noticed that my dog online really likes my when there is one of four things involved:
She is sick
We are in the car
Food/treats
My bed

When she is sick she sleeps with me as I normally have a weird sleeping schedule due to work but at the moment I’m the only one in my house that isn’t working. While she’s sick I get up probably three or more times a night to let her out to the bathroom or I just don’t sleep. She sits with me and cuddles me when she is sick. She genuinely seems to love my company when she is sick but as soon as she feels better she doesn’t want anything to do with me unless it has the next three things involved.

When we are in the car traveling with the dog she usually ends up sat on my lap because I am quite chubby so she has a lot of padding to it on and I’m usually quite warm as well so she stays nice and warm. As soon as she’s out the car there isn’t even a look back in my direction she just walks off like I didn’t do anything for her.
With food it’s more common for dogs to be only interested in the food but it still frustrates me cause as soon as there is no food she just doesn’t want to know. I just wish she could be excited to be around me other then it just being for foods.
And lastly, I don’t get up early in the morning like everyone else due to my sleeping pattern and not currently working so my dog every now and then scratches on my door so I let her in to sit on my bed and she stays for a little bit and then leaves about ten minutes later not even interacting with me other than me opening the door and shutting it . She’s so happy and cuddly towards the rest of my family. She gets so excited to see them and loves to snuggle up next to them on the sofa but will only cuddle with me when she’s ill. I just feel so upset about it I know it sounds pathetic but I just want to be closer with her. Some nights, like tonight, I’m in a lot of pain and can’t sleep and it would just be nice to have someone or something to help me feel comforted and like I’m not alone cause it just gets lonely.

heretochat
Posts: 109
Joined: Tue May 19, 2020 4:57 pm
Contact:

Re: My Dog & I Have A Confusing Relationship

Postby heretochat » Fri Jan 29, 2021 11:29 pm

wheezy0409 wrote:Before I start I want to say that I love my dog and she means the world to me.


I have noticed that my dog online really likes my when there is one of four things involved:
She is sick
We are in the car
Food/treats
My bed

When she is sick she sleeps with me as I normally have a weird sleeping schedule due to work but at the moment I’m the only one in my house that isn’t working. While she’s sick I get up probably three or more times a night to let her out to the bathroom or I just don’t sleep. She sits with me and cuddles me when she is sick. She genuinely seems to love my company when she is sick but as soon as she feels better she doesn’t want anything to do with me unless it has the next three things involved.

When we are in the car traveling with the dog she usually ends up sat on my lap because I am quite chubby so she has a lot of padding to it on and I’m usually quite warm as well so she stays nice and warm. As soon as she’s out the car there isn’t even a look back in my direction she just walks off like I didn’t do anything for her.
With food it’s more common for dogs to be only interested in the food but it still frustrates me cause as soon as there is no food she just doesn’t want to know. I just wish she could be excited to be around me other then it just being for foods.
And lastly, I don’t get up early in the morning like everyone else due to my sleeping pattern and not currently working so my dog every now and then scratches on my door so I let her in to sit on my bed and she stays for a little bit and then leaves about ten minutes later not even interacting with me other than me opening the door and shutting it . She’s so happy and cuddly towards the rest of my family. She gets so excited to see them and loves to snuggle up next to them on the sofa but will only cuddle with me when she’s ill. I just feel so upset about it I know it sounds pathetic but I just want to be closer with her. Some nights, like tonight, I’m in a lot of pain and can’t sleep and it would just be nice to have someone or something to help me feel comforted and like I’m not alone cause it just gets lonely.


To me it sounds like your dog is quite content with you and that's why when she is feeling her worst (when she is ill) that is when she comes to you. She knows that it's you that can make her feel better and it's your company that she wants really above anyone elses. When we are ill we want to be surrounded by the people we love the most and your dog chooses you in those moments.

I hope you start to feel better and not so lonely soon

wheezy0409
Posts: 40
Joined: Sun Nov 15, 2020 3:37 am

Re: My Dog & I Have A Confusing Relationship

Postby wheezy0409 » Sat Jan 30, 2021 4:31 am

heretochat wrote:
wheezy0409 wrote:Before I start I want to say that I love my dog and she means the world to me.


I have noticed that my dog online really likes my when there is one of four things involved:
She is sick
We are in the car
Food/treats
My bed

When she is sick she sleeps with me as I normally have a weird sleeping schedule due to work but at the moment I’m the only one in my house that isn’t working. While she’s sick I get up probably three or more times a night to let her out to the bathroom or I just don’t sleep. She sits with me and cuddles me when she is sick. She genuinely seems to love my company when she is sick but as soon as she feels better she doesn’t want anything to do with me unless it has the next three things involved.

When we are in the car traveling with the dog she usually ends up sat on my lap because I am quite chubby so she has a lot of padding to it on and I’m usually quite warm as well so she stays nice and warm. As soon as she’s out the car there isn’t even a look back in my direction she just walks off like I didn’t do anything for her.
With food it’s more common for dogs to be only interested in the food but it still frustrates me cause as soon as there is no food she just doesn’t want to know. I just wish she could be excited to be around me other then it just being for foods.
And lastly, I don’t get up early in the morning like everyone else due to my sleeping pattern and not currently working so my dog every now and then scratches on my door so I let her in to sit on my bed and she stays for a little bit and then leaves about ten minutes later not even interacting with me other than me opening the door and shutting it . She’s so happy and cuddly towards the rest of my family. She gets so excited to see them and loves to snuggle up next to them on the sofa but will only cuddle with me when she’s ill. I just feel so upset about it I know it sounds pathetic but I just want to be closer with her. Some nights, like tonight, I’m in a lot of pain and can’t sleep and it would just be nice to have someone or something to help me feel comforted and like I’m not alone cause it just gets lonely.


To me it sounds like your dog is quite content with you and that's why when she is feeling her worst (when she is ill) that is when she comes to you. She knows that it's you that can make her feel better and it's your company that she wants really above anyone elses. When we are ill we want to be surrounded by the people we love the most and your dog chooses you in those moments.

I hope you start to feel better and not so lonely soon



I just need support and support from people just doesn’t feel right it always just off, I can’t explain why. I just feel so comfortable around animals I know they can’t tell me how I feel is wrong or tell me things I already know. I need something I don’t have to continuously fight to have them around. I need to feel wanted and needed and loved

heretochat
Posts: 109
Joined: Tue May 19, 2020 4:57 pm
Contact:

Re: My Dog & I Have A Confusing Relationship

Postby heretochat » Sat Jan 30, 2021 3:47 pm

wheezy0409 wrote:
heretochat wrote:
wheezy0409 wrote:Before I start I want to say that I love my dog and she means the world to me.


I have noticed that my dog online really likes my when there is one of four things involved:
She is sick
We are in the car
Food/treats
My bed

When she is sick she sleeps with me as I normally have a weird sleeping schedule due to work but at the moment I’m the only one in my house that isn’t working. While she’s sick I get up probably three or more times a night to let her out to the bathroom or I just don’t sleep. She sits with me and cuddles me when she is sick. She genuinely seems to love my company when she is sick but as soon as she feels better she doesn’t want anything to do with me unless it has the next three things involved.

When we are in the car traveling with the dog she usually ends up sat on my lap because I am quite chubby so she has a lot of padding to it on and I’m usually quite warm as well so she stays nice and warm. As soon as she’s out the car there isn’t even a look back in my direction she just walks off like I didn’t do anything for her.
With food it’s more common for dogs to be only interested in the food but it still frustrates me cause as soon as there is no food she just doesn’t want to know. I just wish she could be excited to be around me other then it just being for foods.
And lastly, I don’t get up early in the morning like everyone else due to my sleeping pattern and not currently working so my dog every now and then scratches on my door so I let her in to sit on my bed and she stays for a little bit and then leaves about ten minutes later not even interacting with me other than me opening the door and shutting it . She’s so happy and cuddly towards the rest of my family. She gets so excited to see them and loves to snuggle up next to them on the sofa but will only cuddle with me when she’s ill. I just feel so upset about it I know it sounds pathetic but I just want to be closer with her. Some nights, like tonight, I’m in a lot of pain and can’t sleep and it would just be nice to have someone or something to help me feel comforted and like I’m not alone cause it just gets lonely.


To me it sounds like your dog is quite content with you and that's why when she is feeling her worst (when she is ill) that is when she comes to you. She knows that it's you that can make her feel better and it's your company that she wants really above anyone elses. When we are ill we want to be surrounded by the people we love the most and your dog chooses you in those moments.

I hope you start to feel better and not so lonely soon



I just need support and support from people just doesn’t feel right it always just off, I can’t explain why. I just feel so comfortable around animals I know they can’t tell me how I feel is wrong or tell me things I already know. I need something I don’t have to continuously fight to have them around. I need to feel wanted and needed and loved


I can understand that needing support and feeling comfortable around animals as they can't tell you how you feel is wrong (which it isn't by the way, there's nothing wrong with how you feel) You are wanted, needed and loved. I don't know you but I do care, as I expect most people on this site care about you. I'm always happy to chat with you either on here or my email address: heretochat@email.com
If you ever need someone to chat with then feel free to get in touch. I am female and live in the UK
I hope things improve for you and hope you are keeping well

monmonka
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2021 7:29 pm

Re: My Dog & I Have A Confusing Relationship

Postby monmonka » Wed Mar 10, 2021 8:03 pm

Hi

Your dog's behaviour is normal. You are your dog person of choice when support is needed.

It is happy to see others because it doesn't see them or hours and you are there all day.

I'm at home now as well and my dog sleeps all day except for when I drag it out for walks and when my husband comes from work all of sudden it has so much energy and wants to play. It is frustrating and annoying. Sometimes I joke that my husband stole my dog! Because sometimes it feels that way but in times like this when it's sick or scared my dog will run to me and I know he loves me.

My parents have. a similar situation with their dog so I know it's common behaviour.

All we can do is work on relationship with our dogs, spend time with them playing, cuddling and teaching them tricks.

I hope this helps

goldfinch
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2021 2:17 pm

Re: My Dog & I Have A Confusing Relationship

Postby goldfinch » Tue Mar 23, 2021 2:39 pm

Hi,
It sounds like you love your dog a lot and I'm sure they love you equally in return. As someone else mentioned it sounds like your dog is with you a lot of the time at home and is used to being calm and peaceful around you. She reacts excitedly to people coming home because for her that is one of the major events in her daily routine whereas she sees you all the time and you are one of her constants.

I know how hard it can be to feel like your pets or anyone you love only comes to you when they need/want something. I've felt like that on several occasions. My advice would be to actively think about those emotions and try to divorce the idea of 'my pet hates me' from the 'my pet has other things to do that are exciting it at the moment' which is likely much more accurate.

You can also try doing things with your dog that she will enjoy and come to see as exciting time spent with you. Teaching her tricks or playing catch? What does she enjoy?

On the subject of wanting to cuddle with her when you're in pain. I totally understand the impulse but you may have to accept that your dog is not one for sitting around/ sleeping with you. And, possibly more difficult to accept, that is 100% not a commentary on your relationship - she can't understand what you need in that moment, but she's not intentionally ignoring your wellbeing. If having a pet to cuddle would definitely help your mental health, maybe you could look into getting another that is more fond of snuggling? Money and space permitting of course. Most shelters have at least 1 elderly cat who would love nothing better than to curl up with you for long periods.
I hope some of this is helpful.

wheezy0409
Posts: 40
Joined: Sun Nov 15, 2020 3:37 am

Re: My Dog & I Have A Confusing Relationship

Postby wheezy0409 » Wed Mar 24, 2021 6:24 pm

goldfinch wrote:Hi,
It sounds like you love your dog a lot and I'm sure they love you equally in return. As someone else mentioned it sounds like your dog is with you a lot of the time at home and is used to being calm and peaceful around you. She reacts excitedly to people coming home because for her that is one of the major events in her daily routine whereas she sees you all the time and you are one of her constants.

I know how hard it can be to feel like your pets or anyone you love only comes to you when they need/want something. I've felt like that on several occasions. My advice would be to actively think about those emotions and try to divorce the idea of 'my pet hates me' from the 'my pet has other things to do that are exciting it at the moment' which is likely much more accurate.

You can also try doing things with your dog that she will enjoy and come to see as exciting time spent with you. Teaching her tricks or playing catch? What does she enjoy?

On the subject of wanting to cuddle with her when you're in pain. I totally understand the impulse but you may have to accept that your dog is not one for sitting around/ sleeping with you. And, possibly more difficult to accept, that is 100% not a commentary on your relationship - she can't understand what you need in that moment, but she's not intentionally ignoring your wellbeing. If having a pet to cuddle would definitely help your mental health, maybe you could look into getting another that is more fond of snuggling? Money and space permitting of course. Most shelters have at least 1 elderly cat who would love nothing better than to curl up with you for long periods.
I hope some of this is helpful.


I play with her with her favourite toy and take her out and give her treats but she isn’t very close to me. But I’ve come to terms with her being distant when others are around. I actually got a hamster recently as we don’t have the space for another pet and we don’t know how my dog would react to a cat so either way it would be too risky. So I got a hamster and slowly I am gaining her trust and getting her more comfortable with me soon I should be able to hold her.

goldfinch
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2021 2:17 pm

Re: My Dog & I Have A Confusing Relationship

Postby goldfinch » Thu Mar 25, 2021 12:09 pm

That's great!
I recently got some gerbils and I've been doing the same. They are very comforting.


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