Support Forum

SANE Support Forum

I can’t have sex with my boyfriend

For when you're feeling particularly vulnerable...
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat May 16, 2020 10:27 am

I can’t have sex with my boyfriend

Postby sadasscabbage » Sat May 16, 2020 10:44 am

Last year my boyfriend and I broke up for a couple of months to go on a break, we would still meet up and hook up during this time. While we were hooking up one time he was on top of me while I was face down in the bed, usually he would pull out but this time he wouldn’t, I cried and begged him to stop but I don’t think he heard me and he finished inside me anyway. Was this rape? I know I initially consented but I revoked that consent. Flash forward to now, my boyfriend and I got back together but every time we have sex I get flashbacks to that. I don’t know what to do, every time I bring it up to him he gets really upset.

Posts: 2
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 11:40 am

Re: I can’t have sex with my boyfriend

Postby lauren2000 » Sun May 17, 2020 9:01 am

Consent can retracted at any point with anyone any time, so that means your husband on his bday right before he’s about to... faliure to stop is sexual assault so it’s rape really. Also risking you getting pregnant is very wrong and disrespectful.
I think this would be reason enough for you to break up with him.
But on top of that it’s effecting you’re ability to get sexual satisfaction not only that but it seems like it’s turned sex into something traumatic. If he isn’t willing to discuss your feelings apologise and give you time to get over that trauma then every sexual encounter since is rape too. It’s seems to me like he got off on the experiance anyone who can be brought to orgasm by the sounds of someone begging them to stop isn’t right in the head and should be avoided. Unless you’ve discussed it and said it turns you in as well. Which you haven’t!
Tell him you can’t enjoy sex or feel sexual anymore with him so you need to be single so you can.
Hopefully then he’ll think twice next time.

Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Nov 23, 2020 5:27 pm

Re: I can’t have sex with my boyfriend

Postby niamh90 » Fri Jan 08, 2021 3:07 pm

@cetberg unfortunately you are wrong, rape can not only be proven through physical evidence, if this was the case there would be no such thing as historic abuse cases etc. Either partner can revoke their consent at ANY time! If you say no or ask someone to stop and they do not, this is rape. I feel the poster of this topic needs to seek some professional counselling as they have obviously been traumatised and will need to get deal with this trauma to be able to move forward with new relationships. Rape crisis is a great place to start if you don't feel comfortable speaking to someone in person.

Return to “Safe Room”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 13 guests