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Feeling??

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howtomotivate
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Nov 13, 2021 2:31 am

Feeling??

Postby howtomotivate » Sat Nov 13, 2021 2:53 am

Hi people.
This is the first time I’ve tried getting things off my chest other than my gp. Where do I start? Well I’m a mum of 5, 2 biological 3 my partners but I have them full time. He also works away week days. Yep I bet you can agree it’s hard work.
We’ve been together a few years and our relationship mostly is great. I’d never suffered with depression and anxiety until 3 years ago. Work was stressful, taking on a whole family on top was hard work, and to top it off there’s my partners ex wife giving us a whole multitude of problems (she’s an alcoholic and substance abuser) abusive, social services etc.
Anyway very long story short, she’s reared her ugly head again trying to get access which will never happen(she’s too volatile and social services etc believe the kids are better as they are and still an addict), this is costing us financially and me emotionally, I feel I’m always the 1 left to deal with everything. I have 3 newly into their teens that are constantly pushing boundaries the obvious mood swings etc. 1 in particular I feel makes it his mission to make my life as difficult as possible. I had to give up working because of child care. I feel lost like every part of who I am has disappeared, like I’m an existence. I’ve gained weight but I have zero motivation to eat properly (I’m not an over eater) my appetites all over, I can’t push myself to exercise I’m tired all the time but struggle sleeping.
Please can anyone give me any techniques to start motivating again. I feel like I’m on a never ending slide and there’s no way up.

epitaph
Posts: 150
Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2020 12:00 pm

Re: Feeling??

Postby epitaph » Mon Nov 15, 2021 10:20 pm

Welcome to the forum,

Well done for posting. I'm going to call you SSM (Super, Super Mum!) frankly just keeping up with the washing, let alone providing meals or doing the odd bit of tidying/cleaning whilst dealing with continual teenage angst on your own during the week, let alone some of the other things you mention must be mentally and physically exhausting. Massive praise to you!

Some suggestions and that's all they are.

1st - Schedule a fixed time every day that is ALL just for and about you, to do whatever it is you feel like doing, (might be have a sleep, meeting a friend for a coffee, chatting on the phone, just whatever you need to provide some relief/escapism to the daily trials, tribulations and irritations). Schedule as much as you need to recuperate/recover. In a perfect world the older children would learn to recognise that you need a break and start to play a part around the house, "when pigs fly".... I hear you say.

2nd - Have a think about who you might chat to on a regular basis that could provide a listening ear...

Take care and really hoping things improve for you...


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