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My girlfriend and I are on a break due to her depression

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Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2021 9:36 pm

My girlfriend and I are on a break due to her depression

Postby morgsj99 » Sun Jan 31, 2021 9:39 pm

I [21M] have been with my girlfriend [22F] for around four months now and today she has asked for a break because of her depression getting a lot worse. Our relationship began amazingly well. We met as new housemates in final year of university and we instantly hit it off. A few weeks after meeting, we began going out and dating and things got serious very quickly. Due to being in the same house, we spent almost every day together. She told me that she had mental health issues fairly early on and that she briefly had therapy but this did not put me off.

The relationship moved faster than usual because we were constantly around eachother, sleeping together and doing everything in between. After about two months of this, we told eachother we loved eachother and things looked great.

However, over Christmas we both moved back to our family homes and we kept in daily contact. Then the lockdown was announced and it meant we couldn't be together for almost 2 months. It was difficult to maintain the relationship at this point but we managed. Anyway, we both managed to return to our uni home eventually and were reunited last week. I felt things were slightly off immediately.

She said that her mental state had really taken a toll over the period and that there were days where she simply didn't eat anything and struggled to get any sort of sleep. This continued when we were together where she would stay in bed most of the day and eat maybe a cheese string or two. She told me that she was 'tired of feeling sad all the time' and that she didn't feel the same way about me anymore even though a few days ago she said she loved me. I convinced her to seek help and she eventually got a phone appointment with a doctor who asked her about her condition. She was prescribed 50mg Sertraline and this is the first time she has taken medication for her depression.

Earlier today, we went for a walk and she told me that she just wants to be home with her Mum and Dad so that she can fight this herself. She also asked if we could 'pause' the relationship while she gets back to being herself. I agreed as I only want the best for her and I told her I will be there for her if she needs me in any capacity. So she is home now and I am in my uni accomodation with my head all over the place not knowing what to do. I guess I am afraid that when she does get better that she won't want to get back with me because she essentially implied that she doesn't love me anymore. I realise that she can't think clearly because of her mental state but it's still hard to take.

I realise this post is extremely long winded and all over the place but my head is struggling to make sense of the situation at the moment.

Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2021 11:39 pm

Re: My girlfriend and I are on a break due to her depression

Postby pinkfreud » Thu Mar 11, 2021 11:55 pm

It's hard to know what she's thinking and she herself is probably unable to at the moment - ironically depression is self-centred; it's hard to see past oneself.
If she hasn't forbid contact it might be nice for her to see occasional messages from you, even if she's unable to reply.
But think of yourself as well - that might be too hard if it's one-sided.

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