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I need help dealing with a parent who suffers from mental health issues.

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caitlin00
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Dec 09, 2020 12:38 pm

I need help dealing with a parent who suffers from mental health issues.

Postby caitlin00 » Wed Dec 09, 2020 1:00 pm

Hi,
I am 20 and currently with my gran-mother and younger sister (12) as when I was 14 my mum passed away. I lived with my gran for a few years before that by choice as my mum suffered with some issues. When my mum passed away my gran took on role of my sister and younger brother (who now lives permanently and has been adopted my uncle). Both my gran and myself have really struggled with the death of my mother and my gran blames my mum for the choices she made that resulted in my gran having to take on the role of myself and my younger sister.

My gran now suffers with severe depression due to this. She has been to doctors and has online therapy but will not accept any help and says that the professionals do not know how she feels or accepts they may help her. She is verbally abusive to me constantly, she calls me vile names tells me that myself and my sister have ruined her life and she cant wait until we leave. She constantly threatens me with her giving me a roof over my head. She takes no interest in my younger sisters school work or interests. She is dirty and will not clean up after herself. Her frame of mind is TOXIC Fortunately my younger sister does not receive the vile abuse that I do. I am however enterally grateful for the sacrifice she made to take on both myself and my sister.

I try to sit down with her and understand how she is feeling but it just ends up in an abusive argument as she has so much rage inside of her, I try to leave it be as I know she is in a lot of emotional pain but I am becoming like her. My family feel the same way about her, they do not visit or if they do its for a short period of time and then leave again.

I cant cope anymore, I'm being punished for my mothers death. Her anger is towards my mother not me. Its been SIX years I cant do it anymore. I'm in no position to leave or get my own place as I'm still in education. I know she is in a lot of emotional pain but she doesn't understand shes infliciting that pain on others around her.

Does anyone know how I can help this situation for myself and my gran. ALSO for my little sister?

mazza77
Posts: 13
Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:02 pm

Re: I need help dealing with a parent who suffers from mental health issues.

Postby mazza77 » Fri Dec 11, 2020 5:08 pm

Sadly she is clearly full of rage. Rage that is being taken out on you. Grief and anger go hand in hand but this sounds like resentment and that is awful for you. Make sure you get support for YOU, dealing with the loss of our parents is life changing and an ongoing process. Please be sure your little sister is ok or encourage her to seek emotional support via her school. I guess you have tried to tell your Gran that you are suffering too, you are angry too? What is her reaction to that?

Deep down she may be angry with herself, blaming herself for the situation. We just don't know how others see things. Not cleaning etc can be an issue of mental health, depression etc. Have you spoken to your GP at all?

mazza77
Posts: 13
Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:02 pm

Re: I need help dealing with a parent who suffers from mental health issues.

Postby mazza77 » Fri Dec 11, 2020 5:10 pm

Just a thought, if you are in education seek help from your college or wherever you are. They may have people you can talk to.


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