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Borderline single parent

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
PureFrustr8d
Posts: 591
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:21 pm

Borderline single parent

Postby PureFrustr8d » Sat Jan 31, 2009 5:08 am

I doubt I have to say much for people on this site to understand just how difficult my life is living with BPD and raising a baby alone. My anxiety doesnt help matters either. There is not a single person around me that understands, not that I have many people in my life. I could go in to detail about just how bad things are for me but I dont want to. Im posting this in the hope that someone will listen to me, that someone will understand, that someone will tell me things are going to get better and that my baby is going to grow up with his mother. I have a bad feeling about this year because I cant see the future no matter how hard I try and that is scaring me.

chimp
Posts: 3318
Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2008 8:46 am
Location: hell
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Re: Borderline single parent

Postby chimp » Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:58 am

oh love i understand alot, you will manage to raise your baby just fine. i too have bpd, i have 4 children from a toddler to a teenager, im moving out with three of my kids and it scares me stiff, but im sure i will be fine, and you will too. if you want to pm me anytime about anything i will always answer you even just for a chat, you areant alone with people who care about you on here, me for one and this is the first time ive spoken to you! i too will be a single parent.take care, kyla.

PureFrustr8d
Posts: 591
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:21 pm

Re: Borderline single parent

Postby PureFrustr8d » Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:57 pm

Thank you to those who have taken the time to read and reply to my post. I knew there had to be others in the same situation as me. I feel for you all.

Before I fell pregnant I had a psychologist treating me for chronic depression and the anxiety. It was 6 months into my pregnancy I was diagnosed with BPD. I stupidly thought this would mean my time of being ignored would be over, that I would get the help because I am to be responsible for taking care of a baby.

I had my son at 23 and he is 17 months now. Everyone has distanced themselves from us. My CPN is useless. I lost my sons place at the family support nursery. The doctors are clueless. Nobody believes me or at least thats what I think.

chimp
Posts: 3318
Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2008 8:46 am
Location: hell
Contact:

Re: Borderline single parent

Postby chimp » Sun Feb 01, 2009 8:21 am

thats awful! i had a hard time when i was carrying my last child too, they wanted to put me on strong ad's that could have hurt my baby, i said no. i tried to hurt myself while i was carrying her too, which im not proud of. if you ever want to chat some more im around everyday, stay safe an strong as you can,living with bp is the pits, kyla.

chimp
Posts: 3318
Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2008 8:46 am
Location: hell
Contact:

Re: Borderline single parent

Postby chimp » Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:37 am

how are you feeling now? hows your little boy? ive sent you a pm.my little girl keeps me going the most, hope everything is ok, hugs,kyla.

PureFrustr8d
Posts: 591
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:21 pm

Re: Borderline single parent

Postby PureFrustr8d » Mon Feb 16, 2009 2:27 am

My problems are mounting. Im struggling. I feel physically sick when I think about how close I am to leaving my son to this world. Its not that I dont feel strong enough, its just the dark side of my mind is stronger. Im competing with something that with each year is controlling more of my life (and consequently my sons). I cant work, study, socialise or maintain relationships. I cant be the mother I want to be. I cant even go outside without feeling fear, trembling or sweating.

I dont know whats left for me. I feel like I've given it my best shot. Its like there is nothing left for me to do except give my son to his dad then wait for the inevitable.

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judithj
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Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:25 pm
Location: Have you ever thought what it's like, to be wanderers in the fourth dimension?

Re: Borderline single parent

Postby judithj » Mon Feb 16, 2009 9:23 am

keep trying, love and ask for help, hugs, Judith xxx


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