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Please help- how to deal with a covert aggressive person

Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2021 8:03 pm
by cherryblossomflower
So, hi I am new today. Excuse the flowery name, it was the name my daughter chose for a teddy bear many years ago

So the problem isn't the diagnosis I got today ,Cptsd and probable borderline personality disorder, which I had already figured out myself, but tommorrow I'm going to meet with a group of friends . One I am very fearful of because of how she makes me feel.

I thought it was called being passive aggressive, but I now realise she is what's called covert -aggressive.
I find this type of person very upsetting to deal with as they psychologically stick the knife in, whilst pretending to be sweet, and I'm an open person and don't see it coming.
I don't think she knows this isn't a good way of communicating , and she's had a troubled life.

I'm quite raw at the moment and don't know how to cope . I'm spending three days with these friends.
Help please

This explains it.

Or this is the shortened explaination
"As you can see, covert-aggressive personalities are very different from passive-aggressive personalities, and they are anything but passive. They are very actively aggressive personalities who know how to keep their aggressive agendas carefully cloaked. Dealing with them is like getting whiplash. You don’t know how badly you’ve been taken advantage of until long after the damage is done. They are, perhaps, the most manipulative of all personalities" ... rsonality/

Excuse the first post psychobabble link but I'm dreading meeting her

Re: Please help- how to deal with a covert aggressive person

Posted: Tue Aug 10, 2021 8:34 am
by epitaph
Dear cherryblossomflower,

Welcome to the forum.

So sorry to see you did not receive the advice, help, or words of support you were looking for. How did it go? What did you observe and how did it leave you feeling? Is there anything you would like to discuss here?

Take care