I know Your probably thinking not another excuse... no I tried I've tried again and again and each time I'm seen as a dimwit because I can't talk properly my voice is awful that even professionals can't stand it.
My parents used to literally slaughter me over it and they tried speech therapists but none of it worked and later I had a brain scan that revealed brain damage on the part that controls my speech. When I'm talking I hear myself as sounding normal but others will hear different and when I hear myself on video I think oh god is that really me and I just can't watch any more. I hate it.
I can see why my parents slaughtered me for it because they wanted to help and wanted the best for me. I don't blame them or anybody else in my life.
I will never be accepted and now there is a women I like who is very classy who shares the same hobbies and interests as me and when I first saw her I didn't really find her attractive but now I do over time. I've probably met my match a few times before but because of the way I talk nobody wants that crap. I don't blame them neither. I just feel so pathetic.
I hate the way I speak and really despise it like everybody else does.
I have thought about taking up sign language and looking for a deaf date but that plan never happened and I ended up hitting a brick wall because I had no resources to where I could meet a deaf date and sure there are some online dating sites I've tried them but are a waste of time.
Anyway I need to end my crush because it will never work and I know she will just think I'm a dimwit like everybody else and I don't blame her one bit she can do better.
I know nobody will reply but I just thought I'd write about it.
I could have gone so far with my life if it wasn't for my disability.
I was also born out of incest, I had a foster family who looked after me. My birth parents were incapable. Social services took me away from my birth mother when I was 3 months old I just thought I'd mention that. I liked my foster parents, they did what they could.
I'm a 40 year old wh**e male so not the most desirable with a speech disability along with autism on top of it. I'm well past it but for some reason I always see the little hope. Reality Hope has long gone. I will continue with my hobbies and try to keep happy healthily and lonely and look at the positives and more importantly concentrate on realism.