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Xmas disappointment

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
lol76
Posts: 265
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2020 10:36 pm

Xmas disappointment

Postby lol76 » Sun Dec 20, 2020 9:21 pm

Is anybody else struggling even more after last nights latest rule changes. I didnt hav a lot planned over Xmas but Boxing day was the one day we were due to see my brother and his wife...but now its all off. I feel like taking decs down and just giving up. Infact ive hardly been out of bed alday. Ive cried, I feel so let down and the suicidal feelings have come back with avengence. Up until now I was keeping busy trying to make the most but now there is literally nothing to look forward to. Im so angry that we hav all been treat like this by the government. Weve had no socialising, going out except to shop for months again, weve been in tier 3 but holding out for few days of relaxed rules so could see some loved ones. Now its all gone. I am done.

padmabell
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2020 4:20 pm

Re: Xmas disappointment

Postby padmabell » Mon Dec 21, 2020 2:57 pm

Oh lol76 I'm so sorry, and I totally get how you are feeling. Boxing Day was the only day we were going to see anyone - my husband's sister & her family were going to come from London. Now obviously they can't. It is really disappointing.
I think the way you are feeling means that no words from me are going to help. I am not in a place of depression at the moment (luckily) so I can easily try to look on the positive side (less pressure, more coziness, can do whatever I want, don't have to worry about cooking for anyone). Very difficult to look on the positives when you're feeling as you are feeling. I know, I've been there.
So I think the best advice I can give you is to be really really really kind and gentle to yourself. Don't expect too much of yourself, don't expect to feel great and Christmassy. Treat yourself like you'd treat a friend who wasn't very well. Give yourself a warm bath. Wrap in in your comfiest clothes. Go out for a little walk every day but don't expect too much, just walk round the block. Watch a movie that you like. Try to eat 3 meals a day even when you don't feel like it. Just getting up and carrying on and getting through a day is a big achievement and you should feel proud of yourself at the end of each day for getting through it.
The government are handling the whole situation really really badly. I think a lot of people are feeling very disappointed and just like we've had enough of it all. But hang in there. The seasons will change. Spring will be here again soon. Nothing lasts forever.

lol76
Posts: 265
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2020 10:36 pm

Re: Xmas disappointment

Postby lol76 » Mon Dec 21, 2020 11:40 pm

Thanks for your kind message, its appreciated and you talk alot of sense. Im just so frustrated ive gone so very low again when I had been doing better but I know im not the only one.

Thanks again for your reply x

padmabell
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2020 4:20 pm

Re: Xmas disappointment

Postby padmabell » Wed Dec 23, 2020 7:32 am

Hi. You're welcome. Yeah I know that feeling of disappointment and frustration when the depression starts to take you again. It feels like a personal failure somehow. But you know even people who've never had depression in their lives are experiencing it now. It's a perfect recipe - disruption of routine, isolation, uncertainty, fear, lack of physical proximity to other humans, reduced social interactions, stress, constant change of rules. If you wanted to induce depression in someone you couldn't do a much better job than imposing the conditions we now all find ourselves in.
Plus Christmas is a depressing and disappointing time anyway (or maybe it's just me??!!).
Do you have people with you or do you live alone?

minniemoo
Posts: 146
Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 10:32 pm

Re: Xmas disappointment

Postby minniemoo » Wed Dec 23, 2020 11:06 pm

So sorry to hear you are struggling. I can relate to feeling worse at this time. Christmas is always hard I find, this year in different ways. You got your hopes up that you had one nice day to look forward to after all the hard times you’ve had, no wonder you feel really bad. A day with your brother sounds really nice. Is there any way you could do something on Christmas Day instead? Or perhaps meet outdoors for a walk on Boxing Day? Is there somewhere nice you can get a coffee to take away? Maybe you could tell your family how much it would mean to you.
Alternatively, if you and your brother are both in good health and perhaps have been isolating at home anyway you may want to way you whether you might apply some common sense to the rules.

rocknrollgypsy
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2020 1:52 am

Re: Xmas disappointment

Postby rocknrollgypsy » Thu Dec 24, 2020 12:02 am

The only reason the govt are getting away with what no govt has the right to do is people complying with it. Civil disobedience is the answer.

lol76
Posts: 265
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2020 10:36 pm

Re: Xmas disappointment

Postby lol76 » Thu Dec 24, 2020 12:43 am

Thanks for your kind replies...good to know there are peeps who care.

The good news is Ive had a bit better day, made it out to do some last minute errands and popped to see few friends who were supportive when they knew how I had been feeling.

I managed to get a quick appt with my counsellor yesterday and she has kindly offered to ring tomorrow just to check Im okay as I was very suicidal the past few days. Some might.think I over reacted to Boris' news on Saturday night but i hink it just brought up bad feelings. Im living in the family home with my parents which is certainly not where I thought Id be at the age of 44. I had hoped id be married possibly with children by now but life hasnt worked out that way and it makes me angry as if life has decided not to grant me those experiences. I had a 7 year relationship with the guy I thought id be with forever until one day he found somebody else he wanted to be with instead...after years of telling me how much he loved me! I dont think I ever really got over that heartbreak/ rejection. Eventually.I did go on to date again and had another relationship but that failed too. By this point I kinda gave up on men and put all my energy into having fun with my friends and Ive had some great times over the years. But then I hit 40 and one by one my friends got married, had children and bought homes. I worry terribly that Ill be on my own forever. Am I loveable? Why have I failed? Is there something.wrong with me? I have tonnes of love to give but nobody seems to want it. Anyway, going back to Saturday night I just felt once again powerless, somebody moving the rug from under my feet again. I dont have a husband or children so I was filling that void with my family. I already cant see my friends as normal and so I was clutching on to family. Im probably too romantic and even tho I know the perfect family doesnt exist I still get sucked into the Xmas adverts and think everbody is having a much better time than me wirh more people! Its weird how I know this isnt really true but once that depression knocks on my door I really cant budge it till it runs its course.

Since the weekend my family and my brother have realised how much Ive plummeted and thankfully they have supported me. I mow hope to see my brother and his wife on Christmas night for a visit.

So after a horrid few days Im feeling a bit better...hopefully I wont sink to that horrible suicidal low again and I can somehow enjoy some of the festive holiday.

Onwards n.upwards!

minniemoo
Posts: 146
Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 10:32 pm

Re: Xmas disappointment

Postby minniemoo » Thu Dec 24, 2020 12:53 am

I’m sorry you had those bad experiences. Before I met my partner I felt exactly the same as you every Christmas. I’m glad I didn’t settle for the wrong person now, for me that would be worse. And you are right, no one is having the perfect Christmas. But still it is so so hard when you are single. Maybe you could try to meet some new people in the new year who are single too because you are definitely not the only one.
Sounds like you are doing all the right things. Roll on new year and we can get out of this holiday period.. then spring soon and things might begin to get more normal!

minniemoo
Posts: 146
Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 10:32 pm

Re: Xmas disappointment

Postby minniemoo » Thu Dec 24, 2020 12:55 am

Have you thought about getting a lil pet in the mean time? Maybe a rescue who would love you to dote on them :-)

minniemoo
Posts: 146
Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 10:32 pm

Re: Xmas disappointment

Postby minniemoo » Thu Dec 24, 2020 12:58 am

Or perhaps foster or adopt a child, especially one with additional needs would appreciate all the love you have to give them


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