Im so sorry you are struggling Nath I really am. That all sounds really scary for you too....did you evebtually get some help my friend?
2 years ago I hit the scariest place ever and had to ring crisis team and I honestly thought I would be admitted to hospital the state I was in...but I wasnt thankfully. But they came out and visited me daily for a few weeks. It was absolutely awful and I honestly thought Id never recover...but I have improved and you will again Nath...I know you will. In the meantime you know the drill...nothing else matters at the moment except looking after yourself and taking great care. It really is back to half a day at a time and let your wife look after you.
You know Im here for you anytime if you wana chat or vent. You are so not alone and sadly not alone in how you feel. You will come through this