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Tired of being hurt

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lol76
Posts: 265
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2020 10:36 pm

Tired of being hurt

Postby lol76 » Mon Nov 30, 2020 1:12 am

I feel very let down by my family today and wow does it hurt. Im told I take things too personally and Im too sensitive, but somehow I always end up feeling let down, not wanted and kind of last in line. When will I be the most important person in somebody elses life? Im tired and worn out of my feelings being hurt. My drive in life is to spend time with family and friends as mot much else matters as the end of the day...but others never seem to share my ethos. I just so want to feel safe and secure in my relationships to know Im loved and that I matter. Sadly I dont feel I matter today. I went out for a run and the tears fell as I ran. I went past house after house where lights were on, xmas decs were.on and I just felt very alone, scared and thst I dont fit in anywhere. My insides feel so sad and hurt yet the world carries on. I wish I could be more flipant and not take people so seriously. Then again I just wish people could be reliable and not let me down.

heretochat
Posts: 109
Joined: Tue May 19, 2020 4:57 pm
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Re: Tired of being hurt

Postby heretochat » Mon Nov 30, 2020 2:04 am

Hello

There's no such thing as being too sensitive, sensitive people are the most friendly and the best sort of people to know. I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment but of course you are wanted and of course you matter - you matter to me. You seem a kind person and you've tried to help a lot of people on here and I'm sure others appreciate it. Yes house after house had lights on and xmas decs and from the outside it makes you feel as though they are all getting on fine in life but I've known of a lot of people that from the outside you'd think they are ok but quite often they are struggling too and anyone that saw you out running would most likely think you are doing fine going out for a run but what they wouldn't know was that as you were running you were crying. Take care of yourself and I hope you feel better soon x

janus
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Nov 13, 2020 4:24 pm

Re: Tired of being hurt

Postby janus » Mon Nov 30, 2020 10:10 am

Reading this made me feel very sad. It is so horrible to feel so alone and as if you are not wanted or loved by anyone. The most important person in your life is you. You really need to learn to love yourself first. If you cannot "like" you then how can you expect others too.

The problem is that most of us are much harder on ourselves than we would be on anybody else. Imagine your best friend telling you what you have just written. I don't know you, but I can tell from the way you write that you would show them a whole barrel full of loving kindness. And you would tell them that they are loved and needed and wanted by yourself at least.

I find great solace in reading. My advice would be be to look at some books which deal with self-esteem and loving yourself. And keep coming and posting here you will get the support you need.

Much love and kindness.

Janus
My Depressing Depression Blog :roll:

www.MADD365.com

nath
Posts: 95
Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2020 5:52 pm

Re: Tired of being hurt

Postby nath » Mon Nov 30, 2020 3:16 pm

Hi lol,

I have felt very similar and your post reminded me of a short poem I wrote.

Tears roll from his eyes as cars pass by the crying cyclist,
He pedals, he steers, he carries on with his tears.

Lorries thunder by, they do not see him cry,
Fellow cyclists, glassed and masked blind to his pain.

Children playing, dogs on leads, all oblivious to the crying cyclist.

janus
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Nov 13, 2020 4:24 pm

Re: Tired of being hurt

Postby janus » Mon Nov 30, 2020 9:19 pm

Tears roll from his eyes as cars pass by the crying cyclist,
He pedals, he steers, he carries on with his tears.

Lorries thunder by, they do not see him cry,
Fellow cyclists, glassed and masked blind to his pain.

Children playing, dogs on leads, all oblivious to the crying cyclist.


Very Nice
My Depressing Depression Blog :roll:

www.MADD365.com

lol76
Posts: 265
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2020 10:36 pm

Re: Tired of being hurt

Postby lol76 » Mon Nov 30, 2020 10:58 pm

Thanks guys for your posts, it really means alot. Sadly, im still really low today I just dont seem to be able to forget how my very loved family member has hurt me so bad. Im hoping in a few days it will feel less painful. My counsellor has been trying to get me to use the 'friend' technique where I try to speak to myself the same way I would a friend...I guess I need to keep working on that.

Nice poem Nath...how are you getting on recently?

Thanks guys xx

janus
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Nov 13, 2020 4:24 pm

Re: Tired of being hurt

Postby janus » Tue Dec 01, 2020 10:36 am

More than speaking to yourself as a friend would, I would suggest speaking to yourself like you would do if you were encouraging a child. My therapist told me this and I find it very powerful.

So, for example when I get up in the morning and make myself a coffee, I will say to myself 'that is a brilliant cup of coffee, you have got the milk ratio absolutely perfect and it tastes divine. Well done you'

I then have a shower and dry myself I'll say 'well done on drying yourself so well not one spec of water left, really good job'

I do this over and over all morning with everything I do. The trick is do not go past lunchtime because you will lose interest. In fact short, sharp sessions are probably better.

I know this sounds silly but give it a go you'll be surprised how good it makes you feel. If you think about it, people with depression have probably had years and years negative self talk it will take awhile to undo that with positive self talk.
My Depressing Depression Blog :roll:

www.MADD365.com

lol76
Posts: 265
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2020 10:36 pm

Re: Tired of being hurt

Postby lol76 » Tue Dec 01, 2020 11:55 pm

Wow that sounds like a really good strategy to try...Ill give that a go...cheers x

nath
Posts: 95
Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2020 5:52 pm

Re: Tired of being hurt

Postby nath » Wed Dec 02, 2020 9:14 pm

Hi lol,

The brutal truth is that I reached an all time low today. My wife rang my community mental health team as I rocked backed and forth on the floor crying and bereft. They recommended ringing 999 which she did and I was triaged by a mental health nurse over the phone then put in contact with my GP. I am stunned and a little traumatised at the moment that it came to ringing 999.

lol76
Posts: 265
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2020 10:36 pm

Re: Tired of being hurt

Postby lol76 » Thu Dec 03, 2020 1:54 am

Im so sorry you are struggling Nath I really am. That all sounds really scary for you too....did you evebtually get some help my friend?

2 years ago I hit the scariest place ever and had to ring crisis team and I honestly thought I would be admitted to hospital the state I was in...but I wasnt thankfully. But they came out and visited me daily for a few weeks. It was absolutely awful and I honestly thought Id never recover...but I have improved and you will again Nath...I know you will. In the meantime you know the drill...nothing else matters at the moment except looking after yourself and taking great care. It really is back to half a day at a time and let your wife look after you.

You know Im here for you anytime if you wana chat or vent. You are so not alone and sadly not alone in how you feel. You will come through this :)


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