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a invalidated life

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
uyenvu123
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2019 11:09 am

a invalidated life

Postby uyenvu123 » Wed Sep 25, 2019 11:11 am

Hi guys

Anyone else feel they just aren't valid in life. Feel like you've got nothing which makes you feel like a whole person. Still I feel untrusted and not quite good enough for certain family members and friends. I don't know how much more I'm supposed to do before I feel alright. I seem to have to put in enormous amounts of effort for very little relief. I think that's what I want to feel really, relieved and valued for who I am.

I can't really remember the last time I thought,ooo I really enjoyed that, I can't wait to do that again. I'm so tired of living, when I broke my wrist and I was in hospital they gave me gas and air, painkillers and morphine. I was thinking to myself I'd be quite happy if they just gave me a bit more and I could slip away. I was in the ambulance and lieing in bed at the hospital feeling really quite good. I think it was all the attention I was getting. It felt at the time like a road to damascus moment and like I'd almost gone beyond worry and fear .

I think I'm a bit like quentin crisp really, what I long for is death. Death in a way that doesn't involve suicide so I can say ha ha ha you didn't make me do it and now I'm at peace. I think Mark Twain said "I was dead for billions of years and never suffered the slightest inconvienience" . Then I think to myself the chances of being born are extremely unlikely. There's probably more chance of winning the lottery. So I guess we're all lottery winners really........mmmmmmm.

Kind regards

Uyen

Isap
Posts: 1848
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: a invalidated life

Postby Isap » Wed Sep 25, 2019 12:00 pm

Hi uyen

That's a good post. Many feel the same way including me.

Take care

Isap


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