This is my first post.
I'm not sure where to start or what to say exactly.
I've not been feeling right for a very long time. I don't have anyone I can talk to really.
I'm a mum of three amazing and beautiful children, I should be more than I am for them.
I'm trying so hard all the time to keep going but I feel so exhausted from everything and everyone just now,
I don't know how to cope anymore, I guess it's kind of nice just to say that out loud instead of trying to fake being okay. I feel like it's an uphill struggle constantly, weve had a few years of rogue landlords and being evicted now
Even though I've always done my best to be s good tenant keep the house spotless always pay rent and bills early even though I'm struggling to put clothes on the kids backs and we still get screwed over. The landlords been trying to evict us for over a year now we're living half boxed up and no way of getting another private let due to rent increases and now cash to save up for deposits months rents in advance agency fees etc, we've only just received housing points from the council due to restrictions and we've basically been told we now have to wait for the landlord to go to tribunal as we've been good tenants they will have to send a sheriff officer to take us out of the property before they will help rehouse us. Over the past 6 months of trying every day to get some where for us to live and consistent rejection and now facing the reality of losing my job when we move as my route at woeyas a walking carer is solely reliant on where I live, I feel completely different detached from everything and everyone, I feel like someone else watching my life crumble away in front of me. No matter how much I try I can't fix any of it and now I'm giving up. I feel weird around my partner and kids now but it started off at work and with everyone else , I feel empty, I'm so tired I just want to sleep away I don't know how many times I've written this and deleted it. I've been to the drs but they don't really seem to understand how bad it feels, just citralipram and propanalol. I can't take the citralipram as I end up sleeping in for work and the propanalol makes my chest tight and hard to breathe, when I said this I was given it again. J asked for 2 weeks off work to get used to them , but I didn't get them because short staffed, I feel so on edge I know o need to take them to help me get better but I also need to work to feed my kids and pay the bills as their dad hasn't had a job in 3 years. The house is now such a mess as I've been so tired now I don't know where to begin. I have this version of my self I don't know how to get the old me back again, and that scares me most of all.