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Depressed & so lonely

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Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2020 7:58 pm

Depressed & so lonely

Postby low227 » Mon Mar 30, 2020 8:13 pm

I am new to this and have not really opened up to anyone.
I am a very happy person, the last you would ever think was depressed. After premature menopause at the age of 30, I had a mental breakdown which broke me completely.
I lost who I was, I could not get my around what was happening to me, breaking down crying, resenting my loved ones and just hating my life. I had a massive urge to drive, keep driving and never looking back, but I had a little one and something told me to stay put.
I lost control completely, hard the person I'd become.
After a visit to the Dr they prescribed HRT & Antidepressants, which I started taking immediately anything or any feelings I had left disappeared within a matter of days. I left my job and got a new one, thinking change would do me good.
My relationship was failing, I did not recognise the person I'd become at all. The drugs made me feel completely taken out of life, there was no feeling at all, too many mistakes were made and now fast forward 2 years...
I've taken myself off the drugs, feel more like myself, I can feel again but I am starting to feel how I originally felt...crying at the drop of a hat and completely losing control of myself.
I just wish there was a happy medium :oops:
The lies I've told in the past I will also need to learn how to live with...I hate myself so much right now!
Being stuck in almost 24/7 is certainly not helping matters. The one person who I thought I had support from I've just realised that was all a lie and they were never really interested in helping me. Some really wrong people out there.

Sorry for the long winded post...I just need somewhere to turn to.

Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Feb 26, 2018 5:48 am

Re: Depressed & so lonely

Postby d08an2412 » Tue Mar 31, 2020 7:42 am

Hi , just to say your not alone , I too have gone back &!fourth drugs help then not taking meds you feel more yourself / flip side out of comfort zone . Back & fourth we go for us we know how hard that is and hard for others close to even try to understand , I so feel for you to hear your closest wasn't there fully in between the moments of difference. We experience individually that's unique to most . I myself feel so connected with my boyfriend at one moment then within another 1000 thoughts down the line I feel completely lu on my own mid understood to feeling of been so different I'm on my own uniquely socially mentally that so different ( but still have a tiny glimmer that I'll one day know someone just like me ) . Me , you , others etc all just need to do this talk and learn we ain't the only ones there are many of us so alike Xx

Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2020 7:58 pm

Re: Depressed & so lonely

Postby low227 » Tue Mar 31, 2020 9:06 pm

Thank you so much for your response, I am so sorry you too feel like me. I really wouldnt wish these feelings on my worst enemy. I had such a bad day today, so short fused and emotional.
My husband just wants me to get better, ofcourse I do too, but being able to talk it out would be good, he just keeps telling me to go back to the doctor, he wants me numbed as then he doesnt need to worry about me I think. I hate the withdrawn from the world feeling so so much, it just makes me unattached and dont care about a thing xx

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