I am new to this and have not really opened up to anyone.
I am a very happy person, the last you would ever think was depressed. After premature menopause at the age of 30, I had a mental breakdown which broke me completely.
I lost who I was, I could not get my around what was happening to me, breaking down crying, resenting my loved ones and just hating my life. I had a massive urge to drive, keep driving and never looking back, but I had a little one and something told me to stay put.
I lost control completely, hard the person I'd become.
After a visit to the Dr they prescribed HRT & Antidepressants, which I started taking immediately anything or any feelings I had left disappeared within a matter of days. I left my job and got a new one, thinking change would do me good.
My relationship was failing, I did not recognise the person I'd become at all. The drugs made me feel completely taken out of life, there was no feeling at all, too many mistakes were made and now fast forward 2 years...
I've taken myself off the drugs, feel more like myself, I can feel again but I am starting to feel how I originally felt...crying at the drop of a hat and completely losing control of myself.
I just wish there was a happy medium
The lies I've told in the past I will also need to learn how to live with...I hate myself so much right now!
Being stuck in almost 24/7 is certainly not helping matters. The one person who I thought I had support from I've just realised that was all a lie and they were never really interested in helping me. Some really wrong people out there.
Sorry for the long winded post...I just need somewhere to turn to.