Not quite sure where to start, but I fit into pretty much all the minority groups! I'm a male, bisexual, I've got serious and enduring mental health problems, my parents are pakistanis and I'm currently section and detained under the MHA.
Ironically, I'm a psychological therapist by profession but I have not been able to practice due to my deteriorating mental health.
In my teens I suffered from severe depression and anorexia. After being prescribed fluoxetine my condition improved. However, I then suffered from bulimia for 5 years. After loosing my gag reflex I could no longer binge and purge. I have tried to commit suicide over 30 times now and I am well known in my local A+E. Since a young age I have experienced hallucinations and delusions and often received commands to hurt myself and others.
I have been sectioned and detained on so many occasions I've actually forgotten the exact amount of times I've been an inpatient.
Psychiatrists have diagnosed me with depression, schizophrenia, eating disorder, and border line personality disorder.
I've soon realised that the diagnosis which the mental health professionals give are simply just "labels" which hold no clinical value. They treat the symptoms not the illness itself.
I am constantly finding ways to kill myself. I am in constant torment. I cannot sleep, I am always anxious, agitated and unable to interact socially. I have been detained over 30 times and now I am currently sectioned on section 3 and may not be discharged for up to 6 months.
I am on 600mg quateiapine, 60mg fluoxetine and 5mg diazepam.
I have had every psychological therapy possible from cbt to dbt to mind fullness etc etc.
The reality is I'm not going to be at ease till I die. They can dope me up as much as the want so I'm a walking talking zombie but nothing and I mean nothing can relieve the torment I endure every day, hour, and minute. Psychiatric units are pointless, u just have to sit around like a vegetable as the meds make u numb. The nurses are blunt and rude, the psychiatrists is too aloof and arrogant to empathise with you and you are ultimately left to your own devices. I truly believe after sooo many admissions, therapy, and treatment that I am a lost soul. Death is respite for me. Death would be joy for me. You can try to mask your illness with mind numbing medication but the truth is and I know this, I will not give up until I'm dead.
Please get in touch with me .. Anyone.. Thanks