Support Forum

SANE Support Forum

Cleaning at home

For a cuppa - and a chat...
Posts: 616
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: Cleaning at home

Postby betterinrecovery » Wed Mar 28, 2018 8:25 am

I still feel overwhelmed by the rest of the house and what needs to be done.
The depression is quite bad and today In get to see a specialist. Wish me luck.

Posts: 221
Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2016 3:39 pm

Re: Cleaning at home

Postby gabry » Wed Mar 28, 2018 8:55 am

Hi B,
Good luck with your visit today, I'll be praying it goes well.

Gabry x

Posts: 2110
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: Cleaning at home

Postby christabel » Wed Mar 28, 2018 8:03 pm

How did it go.

X Chris

Posts: 616
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: Cleaning at home

Postby betterinrecovery » Thu Mar 29, 2018 10:33 am

Thank you, Thank you, for your replies, good thoughts and yes, your prayers.
I am not having a good time of it, never mind hey?
The Psychiatrist...well, I have had better appointments. This man seemed to be green behind the ears and didn't seem to have much a) compassion and b)self awareness.
What can you do? In London I got to see an award winning in the dormitory towns we get to see whoever is available.
I think the appointment was an experience of shaming. I felt ashamed when I left the meeting, I am so glad my husband was there with me.

Re the clutter
I watched a programme on channel 4 about hoarding and it helped motivate me to sort out a couple of bags of clothing for the charity shop.
Maybe I need to start another thread about clutter and collecting.
Best Regards and thanksB

Posts: 591
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:21 pm

Re: Cleaning at home

Postby PureFrustr8d » Thu Mar 29, 2018 2:11 pm

Ocht that's a pity it didn't go so well. I think we've all met professionals of that nature...makes you wonder why they are still in the job if their heart isn't in it. I'm really pleased your husband was there for you afterwards. You have nothing to feel ashamed of, for all you know he was projecting on to you the shame he feels for not fully being present and dedicated to his patients as he should be.

I struggle with hoarding. I probably always will. The big difference came when I moved country. That was an awful experience. Going through everything deciding what to take, sell, donate to charity, give to people I knew, put in the rubbish.....absolutely exhausting mentally, physically and emotionally! I've watched loads of those hoarding programmes, they really do help you. Once you've done it all and it will take time, you have to keep on top of it. Old habits die hard! I don't even want to have loads of stuff. I don't appreciate clutter etc but there is something that makes getting rid of things not so straight forward. I have to do it myself personally, I can't let others do it. I would like to have the same attitude as them, chuck stuff out that I don't use or need but for reasons I feel I understand now, it's different for me. I recommend trying not to bring new stuff home or only doing so if you are prepared to let something go. Also, on a regular basis tackle something even if it's just a wee pile of stuff.

The best of luck,

Posts: 616
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: Cleaning at home

Postby betterinrecovery » Fri Mar 30, 2018 8:50 am

Thank you for your reply.

The reality was that my experience with anti-depressants e.t.c. seemed to be outside the experience of the psychiatrist that I saw. To further complicate things, I am not sure he understood my predicament of being constantly exhausted and therefore not being able to hold down a job.
What was further exasperating was that I had been treated in London before moving here and I had been seen by the services here for 7 years, in all that time they did not think of sending for my notes from the Mental Health Services in London.

On each encounter with mental health services here I have been offered anti-depressants that I have already tried, the records of this would be in my medical notes in London. I wondered why they kept asking me to try meds I had tried.

I felt that the psychiatrist was trying to show me up as a patient who was not cooperative and not willing to try recommended treatments, this could not be further from the truth.

If I said I though at on occasion I thought he was smirking, others might say that it was my imagination and that as someone with depression did I think this was the case.
However, I explained that I had 'night terrors' when I went to sleep, no he said, this could not be possible, I was wrong about this. so we had a discussion in semantics on the definition of 'night terrors'. So now I get it, he needed to present as the Expert as the psychiatrist who was in charge and who knows all and I am the mad patient who couldn’t possibly know what I was talking about.

We tend not to do this, but in desperation I had to explain that I had two 'ologies' from tow separate universities, that I was not as ignorant as all that. Also there was my husband sitting there with an 'ology' to his name too.

I am a 50 year old woman, who is so exhausted that she can't hold down a job, you would think that someone, somewhere would have some sort of compassion and would want to help me in some way? Surely? Surely???

Posts: 616
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: Cleaning at home

Postby betterinrecovery » Fri Mar 30, 2018 9:00 am

Re the appointment,
I actually wrote a letter to the psychiatrist detailing the difficulties I am facing, but he took his own notes and wanted to hand the letter back to me. My thoughts and assessment of my own difficulties don't count huh?

I have been a member of Mind on and off for about 16 years, I have encountered some really empathetic kind and conscientious psychiatrist and mental health nurses. It seems, also, to my observation that there are career mental health workers, who feel that they need to be the 'experts', delusion that they always know best and through their lack of listening skills and understanding will disempower their patients.

I apologise, this is a bit of an irritated and annoyed post.

But I have been 10 years without proper empolyment and with my husband acting as my care worker on occasion, my weight has almost doubled and I feel thoroghly disentranchised.
Oh dear me!

Posts: 616
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: Cleaning at home

Postby betterinrecovery » Fri Mar 30, 2018 9:02 am

forgive miss spellings above.

Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2018 2:36 am

Re: Cleaning at home

Postby whiterabbit222 » Mon Apr 02, 2018 10:53 pm

The trick is to keep on top of the cleaning daily. always have something in your hand, going from one room to another? why not grab something on the way that needs putting in the bin. do this each time you changes rooms and it keeps on top of it :)

Posts: 616
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: Cleaning at home

Postby betterinrecovery » Tue Apr 03, 2018 4:29 pm

Thank you for the post.
Things are pretty bad in the house. I don't think my partner realised how much I had squirreled away. :shock:
But I have 3 bags of clothes to go to the charity shop and I had a bag of up market magazines that I have just dropped off at a local charity that supports people who have had a mental health crisis.

I think one idea is for me not to go to the cheap clothing shops, but to save up for quality items instead. I have often brought things from the cheaper shops that I then never use - not good for me and not good for the environment either.

Return to “The Kitchen”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests