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by andthistoomustpass
Fri Sep 18, 2020 12:28 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 518
Views: 363464

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Diary Entry 17 September The entries below were made over the last couple of months, as I read a self-help book. CPTSD: From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker. 2 August 2020 I'm already finding the ideas incredibly helpful. Too much to break down now but it really is helping with my recent effort...
by andthistoomustpass
Fri Sep 18, 2020 12:19 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 518
Views: 363464

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Diary Entry 13 September Question to self. Is my perfectionism an attempt to gain the acceptance of my mother (my mental construct of my mother, rather that the actual... person, for want of a better term)? Diary Entry 14 September Almost a great acronym for dealing with emotions. IPADSS Identify Pr...
by andthistoomustpass
Fri Sep 18, 2020 12:13 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.
Replies: 151
Views: 166948

Re: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.

littleem wrote:
I don't have friends...


Oi! :lol:
by andthistoomustpass
Sun Sep 13, 2020 2:39 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 518
Views: 363464

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Thursday 10 September I really enjoyed time with friends yesterday. The abject loneliness, following parting, has kicked in today. It is such a strong emotion, like sadness, it is so, so, strong. I will see if focusing on anger dilutes this loneliness. Saturday 12 September I've done very little sin...
by andthistoomustpass
Wed Sep 09, 2020 1:39 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 518
Views: 363464

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Monday 7 September I was thinking about how I used to hide my light under a bushel at work. I self-evaluated as having improved in confidence by taking part and showing my worth, but on reflection I see that although I do that for work tasks, I still shrink from discussing my personal life. I'm stil...
by andthistoomustpass
Wed Sep 09, 2020 1:36 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 518
Views: 363464

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Diary Entry 1 September It hasn't been a great few days and I am posting this a few hours before dawn, so still not great. I've not exercised since Friday. Despair is creeping in to my thoughts, like a stale fart creeping into my sinuses. I have been reinforcing thoughts of what I never had as a chi...
by andthistoomustpass
Thu Aug 27, 2020 2:26 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 518
Views: 363464

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

The abject loneliness and the sense of being fundamentally different and not belonging anywhere, cut right to the heart of it. Heavy stuff!
by andthistoomustpass
Thu Aug 27, 2020 2:23 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 518
Views: 363464

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Diary Entry 26/08/20 It can probably be put down to multiple things, and certainly follows a lot of self help and therapy, but right now I feel the foundation pillars of my self damaging outlook and behaviours are falling one after another, like huge dominoes :) This post is to note another of my un...
by andthistoomustpass
Mon Aug 24, 2020 7:17 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 518
Views: 363464

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Diary Entry Sunday, 23/08 It's been coming and going like the tide but angry again today, feeling like I matter again. I do matter! I did matter! I was failed and abused by those who should have nurtured and protected me. I owe them fk all. They deserve pain and loss! This feels good, but anger is t...
by andthistoomustpass
Sun Aug 16, 2020 4:13 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 518
Views: 363464

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Reminder of my favourite quote from Dr David Burns "Then how can I develop a sense of self esteem" you may ask. The answer is - you don't have to! You don't have to do anything especially worthy to create or deserve self esteem; all you have to do is turn off that critical, haranguing inne...

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