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by andthistoomustpass
Sun Jun 20, 2021 6:42 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 522
Views: 389284

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Diary entry 2, 20/06/2021 I am also remembering one of the reasons I do not take care of myself, one of the reasons I do not try is part of a twisted cycle with learned helplessness. As a child I would be humiliated for trying. I would be humiliated for trying to improve myself, I would be humiliate...
by andthistoomustpass
Sun Jun 20, 2021 6:31 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 522
Views: 389284

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Diary entry, 20/06/2021 A long time ago in my healing journey, I recognised that I developed suicidal ideation in childhood as an escape route if things got too bad. It gave me a sense of control. Now I am recognising that another thing that sets of ideation is seeing myself as intrinsically at faul...
by andthistoomustpass
Sun Jun 20, 2021 6:21 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 522
Views: 389284

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Diary Entry 13 June 2021 My last post was very interesting. The false sense of powerlessness, the victim mentality shows through. Some other thoughts, sense of powerlessness at work is stressful. There is also a false sense of powerlessness when socialising. I think Learned Helplessness is kicking i...
by andthistoomustpass
Sun Jun 20, 2021 6:18 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 522
Views: 389284

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

03/05/2021 Still focused on addressing my victim mentality and learned helplessness. Agreed to think about seeing my mother. Nightmares featuring her have restarted. Key themes are; The late stage bullying. From when I was in my late teens until I stopped living with her, she would spend every other...
by andthistoomustpass
Fri Apr 23, 2021 12:06 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 522
Views: 389284

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

23 April - Note to self

Am I ashamed of feeling sad? Does feeling sad trigger self disgust? Do I punish myself for feeling sad, angry or upset?
by andthistoomustpass
Thu Apr 22, 2021 1:09 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 522
Views: 389284

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

22/04/2021 Diary Entry Mood is significantly better. The sunshine helps, but mainly 'cause can socialise again. Was out four nights last week. Really enjoyed it and, like magic, I no longer have the urge to drink alcohol. Drinking at home was a thing during lockdown and had gotten out of hand. Notic...
by andthistoomustpass
Mon Apr 12, 2021 12:51 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 522
Views: 389284

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

06/04/2021 Diary Entry The nightmares about open house in my previous diary entry have gone away :) I think I can apply a similar method to the nightmares about my mother and other relatives. Fingers crossed. I'm coming to terms with the past. Still feel grief, loss and sadness, at a life not lived ...
by andthistoomustpass
Sat Mar 06, 2021 9:46 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 522
Views: 389284

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

06/03/21 Diary Entry Still believe focusing on changing my victim mentality is essential to my recovery. Still believe that will have to wait until lockdown is over. I need social events to change my internal view of myself as a small and vulnerable child to the reality of a large, strong, capable, ...
by andthistoomustpass
Thu Feb 18, 2021 9:30 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 522
Views: 389284

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

Diary Entry Things are ok, aside from lockdown. Yesterday I had a long (distanced but physically present) lunch with a friend I've not seen in eighteen months. It was soooo enjoyable and really brought home how much I miss my friends and human contact. Lockdown considered, I'm doing well. Most of Ja...
by andthistoomustpass
Thu Dec 24, 2020 12:32 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack
Replies: 522
Views: 389284

Re: Emotional resilience and the impact of its lack

24 Dec 2020 Been a while since I've made a diary entry. I've been consolidating the gains from all of my recent work. Not much I can do about the social side in these locked down times and I feel the lack of other people keenly, but overall things have been pretty good. Emotional flashbacks have me ...

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