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Wrong time to make a big decision?

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Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2021 8:45 pm

Wrong time to make a big decision?

Postby kpgr94 » Tue Oct 26, 2021 9:04 pm


I’m a new dad… 8 weeks new. Love my daughter and fiancé more than anything and couldn’t be happier with my family. I’m currently going through a really tough period and struggling a lot with my mental health. I had 5 weeks of paternity leave with work and when returning to work it was a lot more stressful than it perhaps needed to be. I work as a Business Manager for McDonalds and sometimes the job can be very stressful but I’ve always managed to cope with it in the past.

I’m not sure whether it’s normal for me to be feeling like this but I had been having panic attacks, breakdowns and suicidal thoughts. I took 3 weeks off work sick after only being back for 2 weeks. I had resigned whilst off sick because the thought of going back to work was unbearable and I had managed to find a job which was much lower pay and no where near as secure. I had planned to take it and resigned but during a rare moment of clarity realised it was probably the wrong time to make that decision and that I might regret it or if it wasn’t the job that was making me feel like this and then I’d be stressing about money and security so I backtracked with my tail between my legs and retracted my resignation.

From reading numerous things online about Seasonal affective disorder I’m starting to think this may be why I’m feeling like this as I went through something similar around the same time last year. Perhaps the added responsibility of being a new dad, the stress of anticipating her birth, the stresses of work have all been factors mixed with it being the wrong time of year.

I’ve started to take steps to hopefully help this like daily walks before work with the dog, taking vitamin D, talking about how I’m feeling. Im due to go back to work tomorrow but the anxiety of returning is at an all time high. I haven’t taken the anti depressants the doctor prescribed because a lot of the reviews I’ve read have said that it made them worse? Or when they then came off them the depressions was so much worse when it came back around.

Does anyone have any experience with SAD? And if so what have you done? Am I right in thinking it’s the wrong time to make such a drastic decision?



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Joined: Sat Nov 21, 2020 12:00 pm

Re: Wrong time to make a big decision?

Postby epitaph » Fri Oct 29, 2021 5:51 pm

Hi Kieran,

To be honest I was kind of waiting for someone else to reply to you as it feels just wrong if it tends to be me all the time! So first, a massive congratulations on the birth of your daughter, as this is such a special time for you all.

I'm afraid I don't have direct experience of SAD, but as you have done suggest you learn as much as you can about the condition you think you might be suffering from. You may also wish to register here:
(Dear Moderator, please don't remove the link!)

As there is an entire forum dedicated to Seasonal Affective Disorder under the Depression Forum.

For what its worth, I do think it is the wrong time to make a major decision relating to your employment right now. The first few months (I'll try not add years!) looking after your family as well as embracing change are tough, so putting a big decision on hold for a while, (thereby maintaining some continuity) whilst you recover and have moments of clarity would be my suggestion. As to would be literally ripping the knob off the self care activities such that you do as many off and as much off as you can whilst continuing to support those around you.

Ultimately though these decisions are all yours, ensuring that you are in the right place to make them in the first place demonstrates great insight.

Take care...

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