OK, I guess the response belongs here rather than in Nocturnal Hordes, even though I'm posting it in the middle of the night. Not least, because when you said you found my last botch-up interesting, my first instinct was to respond: "*Snort-laugh* I'll bet ..."
Few points here, which I thought about making elsewhere before deciding that that thread was best not bumped. First of all, the difference autism makes to the whole issue of being accepted or not by people. It's kind of like playing a game where everyone else has the rule book and I don't (even though I've got a bit better as I've read up on it, most non-verbal communication doesn't reach me; intuition is something I seldom get; a lot of the time, I don't spot unwritten rules). And it can also be like the Hunger Games, in that things I never expected because of the aforementioned blind spots can kick off at me at any moment. That led to a lot of bullying and ostracism throughout the education system; thanks to the cult of cultural fit, it's also a massive career impediment.
Then those issues were compounded by the standard 'treatment' for autism spectrum conditions when I was little, namely, Applied Behavioural Analysis. It essentially consists of trying to find out as much as possible about what makes the victim tick in order to manipulate him/her into being the sort of person the tormentors want him/her to be instead of letting him/her be him/herself. So I learnt early on that all the people I was told to rely on were hurtful, for reasons I couldn't understand because I didn't learn what ABA was, let alone that I'd been subjected to it, until a long while afterwards. Hence I developed C-PTSD, characterised by massive difficulties around whom to trust. I've read what is considered the definitive self-help guide for C-PTSD, but it says that when you get convinced that everything you say/do is wrong, you need to consider the evidence to the contrary, and in interactions with others, that's often not forthcoming for me due to the autism-induced issues described in the first paragraph.
(So if I have difficulty trusting anyone, why did I go off piste, so to speak? Well, I signed up here after Elefriends closed, and on Elefriends, the etiquette was that if someone was hiding a detail, you didn't ask: "Is it x?" I guess it's not the same here, just as you can type 'f**k' or 'WTF' on here, but on Elefriends even censored swearing wasn't allowed. However, I didn't know that.)
Note here that I've sought therapy on the NHS because I know I'm too isolated and that it's because of not knowing whom to trust. Too often, I make mistakes and start trusting people without realising I'm doing so because my default mode is not to, then they hurt me badly - and you can imagine how that compounds the pre-existing problems. However, although it was good to vent to someone, the therapist didn't really have anything useful to say beyond telling me to arrange to meet people I considered work friends outside work before they moved on if I wanted to keep in touch with them after they moved on. It'll take more than that to get to the bottom of what's going on, how much can be fixed and how I might go about it.
Which brings me on to the vexed subject of deeper levels of trust. That's the one point where I really took exception to what you were saying. From what we've said so far, I get the impression that you're not daft, but I do think you're generalising your own experience to me. You seem to believe that if someone hasn't had any sexual impulse strong enough to act on it by a certain age, they have a libido that functions the same way as yours, but they're 'denying' it in some way. I did a bit of research about the various terms for people who don't seem to experience lust at first sight and found this on Bustle that explains how it works for me better than I probably could, except that a relationship that started as a friendship is something I haven't experienced because the modern world's timetables for relationships militate against it: https://www.bustle.com/wellness/155277-what-does-demisexual-mean-here-are-6-signs-that-you-may-identify-as-demisexual
. (And note that assuming everyone's libido functions the same works both ways: a friend of mine is outraged that wanting to get to know someone as a person first is classified as a niche sexuality, because when she was growing up, she says that was just called normal. I guess issues with what is known as theory of mind are not confined to people on the spectrum.)
So, that's where I'm coming from. Is it ideal? No: that's why I'm seeking professional help with it. Is it denying a part of myself? I don't think so. I guess subconscious denial is possible, but for diagnosis of that, I'd look to a professional with whom I'd been in therapy for a while if I ever get a course of therapy that lasts a reasonable amount of time, not a stranger with whom I'd exchanged a few messages on the internet.