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All alone

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Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2020 11:25 am

All alone

Postby emskip1996 » Fri Aug 21, 2020 11:36 am

I suffer with Shcizo - effective bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder.

I'm really struggling at the moment just to make it through the day without crying.

In January, I was sexually assaulted and almost raped by a taxi driver in my own home. He came in uninvited after I opened the door to go in.
I won't go into too much detail because I don't want to trigger anyone.

I reported this to the police and has now been taken up to the high court and I'm due to attend in October.

I am absolutely terrified for this event. I'm doing it by video link however I've been told it's going to be an all day court case and I will hear everything being said in the court room.
I'm worried that if I hear the taxi driver lying in his statements, me being me, I'll be kicking off etc.

And whatever the result may be, dealing with the aftermath of attending court in the first place (which I've not done before) will be extremely draining for me.

My mother has disowned me simply because she doesn't want to deal with me and the things I go through. She's in and out of my life like a yoyo as sometimes she changes her mind but then drops me after a few days.
My dad is OK. He helps me clean and takes me food shopping. However if I so much as sigh when I'm in a bad place, he gets very angry and tells me to get a grip and move on.
My CPN believes I'm being abused emotionally from both my parents and has decided to get involved with an adult protection scheme where my parents won't be able to contact me, unless I say so.

I have no friends whatsoever. I've had to delete Facebook due to people being nasty.

My life is falling apart. And I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I really don't.

Posts: 265
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2020 10:36 pm

Re: All alone

Postby lol76 » Sun Aug 23, 2020 11:21 pm

Bless you, im so sorry to hear all that you are dealing with. Please take great care, take half a day at a time and believe that life WILL get better. Good things can happen and good people exist in this world and do care. Be kind to yourself and know that you are allowed to be happy and treated with respect.

Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Sep 02, 2020 11:27 pm

Re: All alone

Postby sstevie » Thu Sep 03, 2020 12:21 am


as someone with bpd/eupd and also struggling with loneliness at the moment, i completely understand how devastating it can be, i'm also very sorry to hear about your current situation and i hope everything is going well for you.

if you would like to talk more, i'd be very happy to listen~

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