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Stuck in the middle

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shans
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2020 3:51 pm

Stuck in the middle

Postby shans » Thu Jul 30, 2020 2:52 pm

Hey guys. Really just need some advice. Sorry if it’s super long.

As a child my dad was abusive to my mum, and I saw all of it growing up. We moved away when I was six and hadn’t had any contact for 20 years. Anyway, randomly out of the blue a few months ago, he contacted me to basically say he was dying of cancer. For a while, I thought about doing the whole ‘I’ve not seen him for 20 years, why does it matter’ but after a lot of thought, I realised I didn’t want to regret anything when he sadly passes. Plus also sadly wanting to put that scared child to bed, by facing him as an adult.

As you can imagine my mum wasn’t happy to start with, but eventually came round. Thinking it wouldn’t progress. Anyway we are a few months down the line, and at the point where not knowing how long he has left, I want to meet him. It may be the last time. So I let my mum know, and she has completely hit the roof, cutting me off completely, saying I am disrespecting her by seeing him, and if I want a relationship with her, or my sisters then I won’t seem him.

I feel like I’m stuck in the middle. I love my mum and I never want to upset her, but I also need to close the chapter, move on from all the bad stuff in the past, and when the time comes, lay him to rest under slightly less bitter circumstances.

Am I in the wrong?

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