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Just venting

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justanotherindividual
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2020 8:54 am

Just venting

Postby justanotherindividual » Wed Jul 01, 2020 9:13 am

So I wrote a really long thing to post here but I am sort of going back on my decision to post that. I really just want to vent a little bit so here I go.

I have been trying recently to improve my mental as I have felt pretty detached and emotionally unavailable. I have been like this for a very long time but I think it has gotten worse recently as I have spent the last year very much on my own at least physically but I have been talking to friends online.

I know my problems are not as bad as many other peoples which makes me feel a little guilty sometimes, I feel very privileged to have had the life i have had so far but I am still struggling.

After my auntie recently passing away I noticed that I didn't really feel anything at least I didn't feel what I thought I should feel. We had a zoom funeral due to the ongoing global complications during which I felt incredibly spaced out, more so than usual for me. seeing as I have pretty much been on my own inside for the past year i figured I would try to go for some walks to try and help myself mentally. But I find myself coming back home more mentally fatigued after walking around spaced out for however long. Buildings seem to look weird as I walk past them not in any particular way they just feel wrong and the tarmac looks like it has a busy texture (this is something I noticed this morning while drinking coffee on my parents driveway.) granted I have not slept but that is a whole other issue in and of itself.

Overall i just feel very dissatisfied and seeking help for me is difficult as i used to experience a lot of social anxiety so have sort of distanced myself from everything to try and avoid that feeling. I have not had a haircut in nearly a year and while i was at university pretty much didn't do anything aside from attending my lectures and seeing the odd film with one of my close friends. I miss this a lot as the current situation has prevented from being able to do this both literally and by giving me a mental block as I don't want to go out and contribute to the problem. As a friend group we have been doing film nights which has been really fun seeing movies that I wouldn't normally watch seeing as i struggle to motivate myself to do anything by myself.

If you have read all of this thank you I guess I'm not really sure what I'm looking for here I just really wanted to vent somewhere. I hope whoever you are your day is going well <3.

tobeconfirmed
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Jul 02, 2020 10:52 am

Re: Just venting

Postby tobeconfirmed » Thu Jul 02, 2020 11:09 am

Hi,

I am completely new to this site and came across your post. It's really odd for me because it sounds similar to how I am feeling currently and in the past. I have been trying to improve my mental health as I have felt detached from the world for a very long time and that was my choice. I have had some difficulties that I found hard to process and so just decided that I was better off on my own with only my close friends and family (to an extent) around. Like you it has been worse in the last year due to circumstances that have arisen.

Again like you I have had problems which aren't as bad as others and I have had opportunities that others haven't; I also feel guilty for feeling this way.

I recently lost my sister and surprisingly I am coping well. I am still very upset and get triggered easily but I find I can always come back from the negative thoughts by thinking of the great times we had, how happy she was and knowing our relationship was a strong one. It made me think about myself and want to be more like her and sort myself out. I have tried online therapy which never seemed to work and I find it difficult talking to strangers even online so this is the first time I have been on a site like this. However as part of my healing process I am trying to be honest and open online even if nobody reads it.

When I was in uni I had social anxiety (not to the same degree I think) but I did the opposite and I tried to avoid the feeling by jumping in the deep end. I did things I am not proud of, I can't say I regret it as I made a few incredible friends but in hindsight it probably wasn't the best thing for me.

I hope venting online gave you some relief. Take care.

justanotherindividual
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2020 8:54 am

Re: Just venting

Postby justanotherindividual » Sun Jul 05, 2020 3:24 am

tobeconfirmed wrote:


Hi,

I am completely new to this site and came across your post. It's really odd for me because it sounds similar to how I am feeling currently and in the past. I have been trying to improve my mental health as I have felt detached from the world for a very long time and that was my choice. I have had some difficulties that I found hard to process and so just decided that I was better off on my own with only my close friends and family (to an extent) around. Like you it has been worse in the last year due to circumstances that have arisen.

Again like you I have had problems which aren't as bad as others and I have had opportunities that others haven't; I also feel guilty for feeling this way.

I recently lost my sister and surprisingly I am coping well. I am still very upset and get triggered easily but I find I can always come back from the negative thoughts by thinking of the great times we had, how happy she was and knowing our relationship was a strong one. It made me think about myself and want to be more like her and sort myself out. I have tried online therapy which never seemed to work and I find it difficult talking to strangers even online so this is the first time I have been on a site like this. However as part of my healing process I am trying to be honest and open online even if nobody reads it.

When I was in uni I had social anxiety (not to the same degree I think) but I did the opposite and I tried to avoid the feeling by jumping in the deep end. I did things I am not proud of, I can't say I regret it as I made a few incredible friends but in hindsight it probably wasn't the best thing for me.

I hope venting online gave you some relief. Take care.



Hello,
I appreciate you taking the time to reply its nice to know we are not alone I suppose. The last few days have gone a bit better for me, it was definitely cathartic to write it all out. I am really sorry to hear you have lost your sister. I don't really know what to say. I hope that you can get the help you need to get through everything. <3
I hope you also take care too.


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