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Sometimes you just need to let off steam...
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Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2019 10:35 pm


Postby fridayschild » Sat Aug 31, 2019 10:48 pm

I wish the NHS would stop suggesting Elefriends to vulnerable people.
Now, I don't consider myself vulnerable in the sense that people with emotional difficulties and low self esteem would be. I've been through every diagnosis and medication in the book, but now I have finally been diagnosed with PTSD, which as untreated and uncontrolled, seems to have been the problem all along. And I do have thick skin, and rarely get triggered.

But there are people who struggle with self injury every day, take overdoses every month, have multiple hospitalisations every year, and without validation, find it difficult to even get out of bed. Elefriends is a very toxic and dangerous place for them to be directed to.

It is a giant hugbox of depression and sadness. No constructive and well meaning advice can be posted without the 'Ele' removing it. Every minute, the feed of users posting is full of people being allowed to wallow, and putting that many people who are dangerously sick in one area is not helpful.

I deleted all of my social media a while ago because I realised I couldn't take seeing other people's portrayals of their amazing lives, and everything I saw, I would pose a photo of, and just sit there waiting for the likes and heart reacts. This quickly happened with Elefriends too. I watched and waited for the validation of other sad and desperately lonely individuals to roll in.

The NHS's lack of funds is partly to blame, as the majority of these people expressed not being given the treatment they needed. The NHS can't just direct people to a toxic echo chamber of mental illness because they can't afford to help them get better. A lot of people on Elefriends obviously do not go there for help, they are stewing in their problems and everyone else's. And it's not their fault. I blame the people who keep the purse strings so tight that the only option for people with no help and cannot do this on their own, are instead directed to Elefriends.

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Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: Elefriends

Postby Isap » Sun Sep 01, 2019 1:55 am

Hi there

I agree with everything you write and you expressed it very well. We've had people here who have actually been kicked off Elefriends.

The concept of modelling a mental health forum on Facebook with hugs and likes, which have been proved to contribute to mental health problems, is disgraceful. The whole site should be taken down.

Have you heard of Friends In Need? I came across it once but was unable to register. I think it was also run by MIND.

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Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2019 10:35 pm

Re: Elefriends

Postby fridayschild » Sun Sep 01, 2019 3:06 pm

It seems to have closed last year, I assume Elefriends is the replacement.

Thinking about Elefriends more, it feels very juvenile. It's allowing people to regress into a hole of learned helplessness. Most of us are adults on there, from around nineteen to fifty/sixty, I've found. We don't need to be Elefriends, we don't need to be constantly looking for validation online. We're adults. We should be receiving real help in the outside world, and being given the tools to become resilient members of the community who can cope with the stresses of modern life efficiently. Not having a f*cking Elephant moderating our toxic online depression lair like a dictator.

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Joined: Wed Sep 04, 2019 3:11 pm

Re: Elefriends

Postby corvuscorax » Wed Sep 04, 2019 7:41 pm

Interesting post! I've recently found this site due to not wanting to use Elefriends - I stopped a year ago but found the same. There's no actual connection between people, it does seem that everyone is just shouting into the void and you're full of other people's hard times and all you can get out of it is maybe a few likes. It definitely is an odd place for places to be advocating.

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