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Feeling depressed due to being single at 30

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
lundihakarlsson
Posts: 15
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:07 am

Re: Feeling depressed due to being single at 30

Postby lundihakarlsson » Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:44 am

The past couple of days I tried signing up on ASD dating sites. For some reason, many of them have electronic/coding glitches, and I cannot complete registration. The only site where I was able to create a proper profile was autisticdating.net. Still trying to figure out how it works.

This is my first time going to these types of sites. I have tried the more "mainstream" apps like OKCupid, which has mostly been a waste of time. I never met any women in person from those apps anyway.

The meetups that I attend seem to be quite male-heavy despite being open to everyone, but I suppose that I will have to wait until I get to Europe before I can attend normal meetups.

minniemoo
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 10:32 pm

Re: Feeling depressed due to being single at 30

Postby minniemoo » Thu Sep 12, 2019 9:37 pm

Glad to hear you are taking steps to improve your situation :-)

Instead of telling someone it’s none of their business you could say ‘I had a seven year relationship but we were both very focussed on our very separate studies and careers and it eventually ended. I’m now in a place where I’m more able to get put and date again as my studies are no longer so demanding’. If they specifically ask about physical stuff I would say ‘yeah I’d love more of that with the right person some time too! It’s been a while!’ If they ask how long just say ‘too long!’ As long as you don’t sound creepy, just jokey and light..
That’s me, maybe think what works for you... when you meet the right girl you can discuss it after you get to know each other.

minniemoo
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 10:32 pm

Re: Feeling depressed due to being single at 30

Postby minniemoo » Thu Sep 12, 2019 9:40 pm

Or maybe if you meet the nice girl who is understanding you can be more honest and say you had a previous relationship like I said above, but that you’ve been single for a while and you find this stuff hard.

lundihakarlsson
Posts: 15
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:07 am

Re: Feeling depressed due to being single at 30

Postby lundihakarlsson » Thu Sep 12, 2019 11:15 pm

I still do not know if I can call it a "relationship", because it was never official. Also, the physical aspect was quite clearly absent. Although she was a chess player like me, many people people in the local chess community considered us "together" although we ourselves did not state so explicitly. She was never into the physical stuff though, and I sometimes wondered if she was asexual or simply just not interested in physical. However, our parents did meet each other and know each other somewhat, solely because of us. As far as I know, right now she is 31 and still a virgin (similar to me). She will probably become a doctor one day, and myself as well.

But it was mostly because of the lack of being official plus the lack of physical that I still do not know if to consider it a relationship; that is why I usually refer to myself as having always been single.

All I can say though is that I did love her. Up to now I have not met any woman who comes close to making me feel the way that she did.

lundihakarlsson
Posts: 15
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:07 am

Re: Feeling depressed due to being single at 30

Postby lundihakarlsson » Fri Sep 13, 2019 12:09 am

That does make sense I suppose. Answering that question could be warranted if the woman is asking it sincerely, and not in a sly way get more information to make fun of me.

However, when male acquaintances/friends ask me, especially tech and "bro" types, I think that I should tell them that it is not their business. My intuition is that they want to get information about me and create gossip/rumours in the community.

I downloaded this app "Cove". I am not a fan of apps and prefer face-to-face interaction, but at least it is good practise.


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