Hi there, i’m new to this group.
For the last few years on and off have been feeling low. Because of how low I feel and because of my low self worth I lash out at people around me when they criticise me. This includes family, partners, colleagues and friends. Because of my attitude I find it difficult to stay in jobs. I always start off well in a new job, quickly make friends, and ingratiate myself with my colleagues. Then after a while, something happens, I turn low again, I become more negative, talk negatively about myself and people around me. This seems to have a negative affect on those around me. I also can get aggressive if I feel that people are being critical towards me, although sometimes they can just be giving me some feedback about my work which wasn’t meant in a bad way. I take it to heart and get defensive as I feel it affects my self worth and stops my confidence improving. This then leads to colleagues and managers making complaints about me over my attitude. This then turns to disciplinaries, warnings and inevitably being sacked by the company. I then feel angry and negative towards the people who I feel have stabbed me in the back and betrayed me. I take then take that negativity into the next job with me and the same eventually happens again. I want to stop this never ending pattern repeating itself but don’t seem to be able to. I want to change but not sure if it’s even possible. Each time it drains my confidence that little bit more and I feel like I don’t want to live if I can’t have any self worth or be a responsible member of society. I have been taking anti-depressants which helped at first but then just got used to them and they just about keep me above ground.
Has there been others here that have had problems similar to the ones I mentioned?