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Intercepting bouts of depression?

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
reclaimer
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2019 6:31 pm

Intercepting bouts of depression?

Postby reclaimer » Fri Feb 08, 2019 7:05 pm

Hi all. I'm new here. Just joined. I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. And as you can imagine, due to it never being addressed, it got worse and worse over time. I don't really want to go into my full story and stuff, at least not yet. But there is something I wanted to ask about, see if anyone had advice.

I think it's safe to say that everyones goal is to reach that point where depression or other issues aren't such a crippling thing. To reach that point where we experience high's and low's of a "normal" intensity. I mean, obviously life can't be happy all the time. But while that is my end goal, I could use some advice for the here and now. My current "baseline" is feeling like I'm managing to keep my head above water. Managing to swim a little bit closer to shore now and then. But "just about managing" is where I tend to be at. I have good days, and bad days. Good days like I said, swimming a bit closer to shore, bad days being sinking. It's those bad days I want advice on. I think that's why we're all on here I suppose.
But anyways, I don't know if it's the same for anyone else, but "bouts" of depression tend to sneak up on me. This might sound contradictory, but while I do feel worse, it's almost like I don't realise how it's escalating. I don't know if that's to do with the fact I've ignored things for most my life, meaning I don't really "pay attention" to how things are getting worse... But what I'm getting at is, bouts of depression sneak up on me. I'm there just trying to cope with things, focusing on other things, and then before I know it, I'm in "that" place again. Feeling helpless, turning self destructive etc... Does anyone have any advice on how to intercept that slide into "that" place before I hit the bottom? I know that being mindful prevents it, but I guess that's the thing. You aren't always prepared for that slide. Sometimes it sneaks up on you when you aren't being mindful. You can't be mindful 24/7, 365.
I don't know, maybe I'm asking/hoping for the impossible. But if anyone has any advice, anything they do, then I'd really appreciate the suggestions.

reclaimer
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2019 6:31 pm

Re: Intercepting bouts of depression?

Postby reclaimer » Fri Feb 08, 2019 9:57 pm

I've been thinking, and I think I may have answered my own question in a way. I mean, I'm that focused on all the things going on around me, and sort of ignore my own situation, that I fail to address it.
I have a habit of "soldiering on" while it's bareable. I'll tell myself "I can manage", up until the point I can't. My current situation is in part responsible I think. I am or was in a relationship with someone who isolates like I used to, and sometimes still do if I'm honest. Long story short, the relationship has been causing me a lot of anxiety and depression. She has her troubles too, and I try to help and support her. So despite the negative impact it's having on my own mood and such, I soldier on, try to be her "rock", for lack of a better phrase. I don't want to let her down or fail her, and I don't want her to see me as weak. I want her to see she can depend on me regardless. That I can deal with it, ya know? Add on top of that how we're having problems, and I'm focusing so much on her/us that I'm not thinking about how I'm doing... It's no surprise that it eventually get's too much. I think I focus on other people too much, to my own detriment. Maybe I do that to escape my own problems, avoid them instead of confronting them... I don't know.
I am on a waiting list for therapy at the moment, and I am now focusing on myself again. Before we met, I was making progress. And at first, she enhanced my life, made things feel easier. But when things started going wrong, I neglected the things I was doing before we met. My routine, my sleep, my eating... All the things I did to help myself get better, I lost sight of them focusing on her/us. So I'm addressing those and establishing them again.

All this being said, I still welcome any input anyone might have.


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