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Religious cult caused my lovely boyfriend to leave me

Mental illness recognises no boundaries...
von66
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2019 11:45 am

Religious cult caused my lovely boyfriend to leave me

Postby von66 » Tue Jan 22, 2019 12:29 pm

Very suddenly and out of the blue really (although thinking back now there were warning bells). My world has fallen apart, I am completely alone now, no family or friends as my life revolved around our relationship..The cults initials are JW, not sure on protocol on naming individual orgs.

I am heartbroken and well on the way to another period of major depression. I'd been doing so well, even got a part time job. I feel anger, despair and betrayal. We had been together nearly 5 years and he had shown no inclination of re engaging with JW although some of his family members are practising and others not.

I took a chance and believed him when he said he would never leave our relationship for them. Their indoctrination is relentless and focuses on impending doom, shunning the unbelievers and NO SEXUAL CONTACT outside a JW relationship. I am now a sinner! I think he has lost his mind. I know I feel like I'm losing mine :( Is a anyone have any experience of this type of situation, or suggestions about where I can get help.....It would be greatly appreciated.

betterinrecovery
Posts: 526
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: Religious cult caused my lovely boyfriend to leave me

Postby betterinrecovery » Wed Jan 23, 2019 10:53 am

Dear Von66,
I saw your post yesterday and I went away hoping that someone, with more wisdom that I would post here first, because I wasn't sure what to say that would help.
However, you are going through a lot of pain and I do know about heart-ache and broken relationships.

It is obvious that you are in shock, even if you had an inkling that your partner might be going back to this group, you were not expecting to be cut out of his life like this.

You know what it sounds like? It sounds like a bereavement - like when a spouse dies, that sort of a shock. I am told the pain can be almost unbearable. :(

I would say that there is no easy fix for this,
Just like someone who has had a bereavement, please find a non-judgemental person to speak to and pour out your heart. I believe that you will have to do this quite a lot.
I think, in my view, managing the pain and looking after yourself - eating as well as possible, sleeping as well as you can- will help initially.
There is a text message service run by sane, a telephone talking service run by sane and there are the Samaritans, they will be available so you can talk. :idea:

These things are a bit like first aid, in later weeks you will be able to deal with the other stuff, the exclusion and rejections, and you will be able to slowly come to terms with what has happened.

I hope this is a bit of help.
I am sorry that this has happened.
b

P.s. just an idea -never think that you were/are not good enough for your partner, there are things in other people's lives that we can not control.

betterinrecovery
Posts: 526
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: Religious cult caused my lovely boyfriend to leave me

Postby betterinrecovery » Sun Jan 27, 2019 9:12 am

Dear von66,
just posting to check on how you are doing....will not post again unless there is feedback, but just want you to get a bit of support.
It occurred to me that you may get support and help from family, even if you have not been in touch for a bit.
I also wonder if your partner has given a clear explanation for why he no longer wants to be in a relationship with you, I have known of relationships where one partner is religious and the other is not or where the partners have different faiths - not easy but possible.
There of course the situations where a partner has converted to the religion of their partner...so many combinations.
Anyway wishing you well.
B


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