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Afraid of myself

For when you're feeling particularly vulnerable...
rockinghorse
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Dec 16, 2018 10:19 pm

Afraid of myself

Postby rockinghorse » Thu Jan 10, 2019 11:20 pm

I keep thinking about dying, I keep wishing it will happen. This scares me because I worry that I will act on impulse. I’m feeling really fragile and I should be grateful for what I have. But I’m just a useless piece of garbage! Not even my dog loves me. She loves my housemate, he’s in all day whilst I’m at work. This breaks my heart a little every day! What kind of useless waste of person can’t even be loved by a dog?!

maisi
Posts: 525
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:29 pm

Re: Afraid of myself

Postby maisi » Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:08 am

You've got to love yourself- the dog knows you and lives with you, so you're really important and it loves you, that's definitely true, even if your housemate is the main person for it- but also it isn't a good measure of your lovableness, people are, including and especially yourself.

Of course you'll die, everyone does, but it's a bad idea to hasten it cos you're still thinking, still feeling, and so still living. I dont want to die, but I don't mind thinking about it.

It's a good but very weird thing that we can imagine our death- we know our life is finite. I'm always so amazed we are animals but we see what other animals don't. How to live with choice and courage, pain- mortality- and flippancy. Poor dogs (+cats, birds, sharks, giraffes etc,) who never get to understand. And poor us, having to come to terms with it and reconcile ourselves.

Sorry, you really sparked me to go off on one, but I meant to be friendly to you.


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