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Wife hid depression and I don't know what to do..

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
tussox
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2019 11:30 pm

Wife hid depression and I don't know what to do..

Postby tussox » Tue Jan 08, 2019 11:49 pm

It seems my wife has been depressed for sometime and I just didn't see the signs. It all came out recently in an argument when I thought I had done something else wrong. The good news is that she is seeing a Doctor now, but I don't know what to say or do now. I have read articles but I still don't understand the hows and the whys. I know I can't fix it but I am worried. Am I the cause? How do I help in a practice sense? What should I say or not say? I am a middle aged bloke, used to getting to the bottom of issues and fixing them.....that approach isn't going to work here is it?
Is there a book or guide somewhere that can help people like me understand and provide the right support? I feel even more that i am walking on eggshells trying not to make mistakes, say the wrong word, show the wrong expression...
Men of my age don't discuss these sorts of things with the small group of friends I do have...we just don't know how....I have no one to ask, which is why I am here.

robin71
Posts: 42
Joined: Sat Oct 27, 2018 6:02 pm

Re: Wife hid depression and I don't know what to do..

Postby robin71 » Wed Jan 09, 2019 6:23 pm

Hello Tussox
Welcome to the forum.

Geting to the bottom of it -> learn about depression.
See the black dog tribe, blogs, here on sane.
And the resources tab
mind also have a good website

You also have your own experience, everyone's mood changes, so tune in to that. Notice how sometimes it won't budge, but at others positive thinking can help.

Fix it -> just be patient as you learn more you will be able to know what to do. Try not to be on eggshells, be confident, it's OK that she feels depressed when you feel fine, you are for support but she is responsible for how she behaves, not you.

Hugs and iLoveYous are free to give.

Take Care
Robin

ralphmcdonald
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2019 7:06 am

Re: Wife hid depression and I don't know what to do..

Postby ralphmcdonald » Mon Mar 11, 2019 11:48 am

It seems that this is a very difficult situation for you and your wife. You should try to understand your wife's situation, also find why and what makes her feel depressed.

Try to talk with her what creates the problem in her life, sometime talking with each other can solve your problem.

johnherron
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2019 7:44 am

Re: Wife hid depression and I don't know what to do..

Postby johnherron » Tue Mar 12, 2019 6:42 am

About talking with doctor

don’t feel ashamed about bringing the issue to your doctor's attention; certainly your physician has conferred this issue with many patients. Consultants view erectile dysfunction much like any other medical condition.

About talking with partner
Define what satisfies you and ask what entertains your partner. For instance, a man suffering impotence may just need more manual encouragement to get an erection.


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