I'm in a lovely relationship 70% of the time. My partner and I have been together nearly 4 years and we have a baby on the way. He has had depression since before we met, taking tablets, but never been to see a counsellor.
Basically, I'm starting to struggle. He says he's really excited for the baby, so it's not that.
He lets things get to him easily. He has a good career, but complains constantly about his job/company/people he works with/commute.
I try to make his life easier for him, food shopping, cooking, planning things etc. I pick up his prescription pills for him when he asks, but if for some reason I'm working later, he'll turn it into a bit of an issue where I feel guilty for not being able to get them. Other things that seem small (he'll ask me, "can we change the bedding later?" ...I just think, yep go and do it. When I feel it needs changing, I'll just do it. I just always feel like i don't have the luxury of asking, what we're having for dinner etc, it's always on me. I'm pregnant and really thought I'd get a bit of pampering from him, but no. He's allowed his feelings, yet he expects me to be happy and positive all the time, when in reality, I'm only human and have my own job etc so I have my own off days. He doesn't like this though, if I want to have a complain about anything, he'll tell me to not be negative.
When we have disagreements, which I think is natural, it turns into an argument that he'll let simmer on all night and the next day. Last night, he asked what was for food, I said fajitas as I know he loves them, but I was feeling particularly tired (last week my dad broken his collar bone, he's in his 70s and has two big dogs, so needs my help, so have been helping him also), and didn't get up right away, so asked if he'd mind chopping the veg. He did so, after stating he isn't sure how to do it, I reminded him he's done so plenty of times, and after I asked if he'd fancy putting the Quorn chicken in to cook them, and he storms into the living room telling me he's doesnt know how and to lay off him!! This upsets me and we argue as I try to calm him and he says he needs to get out of the house (he drinks daily but didn't yesterday) and wanted lager, so I reasoned with him not to, and after some more rowing (I'm only human and can't not react when he acts this way) he went to bed.
He knows he needs help but isn't being proactive to get it, but he'll book other things for himself, so why is he ignoring this issue?
I had a pregnancy scare last week after my dad fell, I felt stressed, and I text him to let him know, so he could come to hospital with me. Upon seeing me, he was moody and said he was struggling to take all the information in. What about comforting me? I'm carrying our child and just wanted his reassurance, yet I ended up being the one to comfort him all day whilst we waited on the scan.
I just want to be able to lean on him, but it's not happening lately as it's all about him. He'll also say very nasty things to me when he's low, calls me boring (before becoming pregnant I'd surf, and I got him into mountain biking, I just don't want to drink all the time) and will put me down by calling me dopey, but says that he's saying it 'with love's. If someone is told they're something bad for long enough, no matter what the context, it gets to them.
So anyway, as I said, it's not always bad, but it's becoming more regular like this and I want to know how to deal with it. I have my own mental health issues, I suffer with anxiety but have worked hard to help myself. So what I'm saying is, when small things turn into a huge arguement, my anxiety makes me want everything to be sorted ASAP, so I come across as needy, when in reality I just want to know everything is ok. Any advice would be really appreciated. Thank you