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Girlfriend has left me

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
devonsurfer
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2018 9:52 pm

Girlfriend has left me

Postby devonsurfer » Fri Dec 07, 2018 10:06 pm

Hi I'm looking for anyone that can help me understand what might be going on. I met the most beautiful and amazing girl last year. We fell in love and became soulmates having all sorts of sailing adventures and fun together. In the summer her career and health took a sudden nosedive and she started to become very down. That's when she told me she suffers from major depression and that sometimes it catches up with her. Shortly after she told me she no longer wanted to be in a relationship and she shut me out. She wouldn't see me or speak to me and it's been that way for over 2 months now.
I was absolutely heartbroken and against my better judgement I bombarded her with letters and messages trying to get her to see sense and come back. She's gone and doesn't reply to me. I'm in a bad way now. I'm keeping on with daily life but I just don't understand what's happened and if she hates me or if it's just the depression? I've tried everything I can think of to try to let her know I love her and that I am here for her but nothing.
I don't know what I should do? Can anyone help who understands what might be going on with her depression? It doesn't bother me at all and I would stand by her no matter what but it feels like I've lost her for good.

upwards-is-the-aim
Posts: 553
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:16 pm

Re: Girlfriend has left me

Postby upwards-is-the-aim » Fri Dec 07, 2018 11:28 pm

Did she say why she gets depressed at times ?

When you are depressed - the company of others is good for you - if at the right level - to much fun - makes me for one feel worse

And what happens is that you tend to withdraw into yourself and avoid situations and people
And dealing with things and other people can be hard

So it might just be that is where she is currently at - and she does not want this way hey full on time at the moment

My advice would be to pull right back on the contact stuff - er well it has not worked

And perhaps send a shortish text once a week telling her a few things that you have been done and hoping that she is okay - and finish with a question that is really low level - this is to try to get her to respond
Something like did you see abc on TV and what did you think
Saw a bloke sailing - you can make it up - nice dingy

And if she does respond - do not hurry to reply -- leave it 12 hours plus - and reply with something that closes it off so she does feel that she is going to be drawn into some big heavy time

And then do the same the next week
And be very gentle on any progress and any exchanges
Your post is very full on and I can understand why - but that at the moment is probably the wrong thing to do

Slowly slowly catch a tiger

Good luck
Trying to help and be supportive to others on this forum is one of my attempts to reduce my own depression. Getting ourselves out of our own head circles is usually a good thing to do. Maybe try it yourself


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