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Worried about my Mum

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worrieddaughter
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:24 pm

Worried about my Mum

Postby worrieddaughter » Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:35 pm

Hi Everyone.

Hoping you can help please. I’m really worried about my mum, she is a single mother of 5 and has been through a lot in her life. We are all grown up now and I am 24 and moving out in a few weeks.

My sister will be staying for another month before she also moves. My mum has always been a heavy drinker and will sometimes get drunk before work. When she gets dunk she is very uncooperative and sometimes nasty or upset. She is also in a few thousand pounds of debt that we are helping her manage/pay as she is very bad with money.

She has has a boyfriend that encourages her to drink and I have a feeling she has not been going to work but just pretending. She told my sister the other night while drunk that she plans to quit her job and move with her boyfriend when we move to his caravan (he owns a farm)

She denied all knowledge to me of this conversation when I confronted her however tonight I had to forcefully get her to get off the sofa to get to work on time, again she had been drinking. When I try to talk to her about these things she gets so aggressive and refuses to talk to me.

I’m so scared to move out and leave her when she clearly can’t look after herself, I’m scared she will quit her job and not be able to pay her rent.

I love her dearly so would really appreciate any advice or help.

upwards-is-the-aim
Posts: 553
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:16 pm

Re: Worried about my Mum

Postby upwards-is-the-aim » Wed Dec 05, 2018 11:36 pm

Hard at distance

She is probably now alcohol dependent
She is probably using it to blot bits of her life out

Can you sit down with her and ask her why she drinks so much
And not turn it into an argument - you cannot control how she behaves but you can be calm and reassure her and say that it is to much for anyone hence you asking
And try to start to open up that conversation

Try holding both her hands and start of by looking her in the eye and say mum I have a problem and you want help with it
And when she asks you what it is - say that you worry about your mum (used the third person)
And keep on trying to use the third person as if you are talking about someone else

Dont accuse her - make it your problem not hers

I dont drink to much - you say i am not talking about you but about my mother - what do you think I should say to her

If you get the idea give it a go

There is then plenty further to go after that but hey you stat somewhere
Trying to help and be supportive to others on this forum is one of my attempts to reduce my own depression. Getting ourselves out of our own head circles is usually a good thing to do. Maybe try it yourself

betterinrecovery
Posts: 332
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: Worried about my Mum

Postby betterinrecovery » Sat Dec 08, 2018 6:56 pm

Dear WorriedDaughter,
I have been thinking about your post,
I am glad Upwards has been able to post here to support you.

First I hope you are able to look after you and your welfare.
I think that it is really important that you do.

with best regards

B


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