New here too. Saw your post and wanted to give you a virtual hug.
Just wanted to say that I have been in your place and I ran and got into a refuge. Some of the consequences for us were awful (but times have changed since then) but looking back from 15 years since, I did the right thing. My now grown-up children have told me that I did the right thing for them too, even if the consequences, initially for them, were awful. We all have scars but we know they could have been deeper. We are incredibly close.
My advice is to look clearly at your circumstances and chances of change in your relationship. Talk to your doctor - tell them first because they can record it and will usually give you contacts who can help. If you do decide to get out, plan very carefully, including getting some sort of proof of the abuse out to somebody/organisation, to help when going through custody hearings. Please, please, if you are on the internet talking about an abusive partner, be careful. Even if you aren't in the U.K. the Womensaid site has good advice on covering your online tracks here https://www.womensaid.org.uk/cover-your-tracks-online/
and a charity/service like this is invaluable for discussing options, even if you don't want to leave.
Please don't give up, don't stop talking. You are worthy of a good life. You have love and talents and strength (anyone who can go through childbirth is flippin' strong) and are capable of joy, even if you can't see it right now.