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lonely ig

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someone.else9
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Nov 09, 2018 2:30 am

lonely ig

Postby someone.else9 » Fri Nov 09, 2018 2:53 am

I’m a university student...I feel like I should be more involved or maybe at least spend more time with friends, but I feel too worried about all my school work. Then I don’t even have motivation to get things done and I feel more stressed. I feel lonely a lot. Idk why things are like this again. I’ve just gotten back to feeling depressed recently. I don’t go out. I even used an app to try and make friends but I only got stood up and in a lot of dead end conversations with people who I didn’t feel like I could really relate to and it’s tiring. Tbh irl I don’t have anyone I feel close to supporting me. I have a few online friends I talk to frequently and can tell about my problems but irl there’s no one who knows how I’m feeling and no one I can tell. I’m always trying to cheer myself up but nothing works lately. It’s hard to make me take care of myself and even do laundry or shower..I feel ashamed admitting that. I tried counseling at my school before but I feel like the couselor maybe wasn’t the right one for me. I just feel like I want connections but no one can relate to me. And the people who do actually listen are far away (online) and irl people never keep up relationships. I try and I try and I try and it’s so exhausting trying to be friends with people who don’t really bother to keep up ties or answer messages or anything. I just feel lonely and annoying and bothersome. I wish I could just focus on my studies but I can’t seem to focus lately. I get drunk by myself in my room and part of me wishes I could hurt myself but I stopped that a few years ago. Well I thought I had but maybe it just takes different forms. Sorry for this long ramble...

upwards-is-the-aim
Posts: 361
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:16 pm

Re: lonely ig

Postby upwards-is-the-aim » Fri Nov 09, 2018 10:20 am

But of a short non ramble to be honest

So things are crap and you want change

You do courses so their are other students around - there will be clubs and societies that you can join

What ideas do you have for change
Trying to help and be supportive to others on this forum is one of my attempts to reduce my own depression. Getting ourselves out of our own head circles is usually a good thing to do. Maybe try it yourself

upwards-is-the-aim
Posts: 361
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:16 pm

Re: lonely ig

Postby upwards-is-the-aim » Fri Nov 09, 2018 10:21 am

And although mates at distance are not the same - they still have value

What interests did you used to have
Trying to help and be supportive to others on this forum is one of my attempts to reduce my own depression. Getting ourselves out of our own head circles is usually a good thing to do. Maybe try it yourself

looby143
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2018 3:05 pm

Re: lonely ig

Postby looby143 » Sun Nov 11, 2018 6:53 am

So sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I am struggling at the moment as my son has suffered with psycosis after smoking weed. He has been in hospital and since coming out has recieved little support. It is so hard to stay positive. I am very interested in spirituality and it helps when you are not sure who to turn to. You are your best friend and there is so much information now that proves you can heal yourself if you change your mind set. It takes practice. Meditation has helped me to stay poitive. Read Joe Dispenzer Supernatural. It has scientific proof that we can change with meditation. It is facinating. Hang in there chick. Sending love and hugs.

someone.else9
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Nov 09, 2018 2:30 am

Re: lonely ig

Postby someone.else9 » Wed Nov 14, 2018 5:32 pm

upwards-is-the-aim wrote:But of a short non ramble to be honest

So things are crap and you want change

You do courses so their are other students around - there will be clubs and societies that you can join

What ideas do you have for change


I don’t have time bc of my classes and the clubs I joined last semester are during my classes. I also work and have an internship. I also live w my parents and we only have two cars so I can’t stay on campus all day or I don’t always have a way to get to places otherwise. I ask ppl to things a lot but no one ever asks me. Tbh I’m so tired of being the one to always initiate things. I have friends but I feel like tho they care ig they don’t actually make plans w me and I’m left out of they make plans bc of spontaneity. No one is intentional w me even tho I try to be or make plans or suggestions ppl constantly cancel on me. I’m tired of it. Why do I bother? Ppl don’t answer messages from me either or it’s one word answers. It makes me feel like they don’t like me or I do something wrong but I go over and over and over my actions and no I believe I’m a good friend. I get ppl are busy, but I’d always make time for them or at least to answer a message or a call or something. But no one messages me. Ppl tell me that I seem like a cool person and they wanna be friends but then when we’re actually friends they do nothing and I’m tired of trying so hard for ppl who don’t truly care about me.

someone.else9
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Nov 09, 2018 2:30 am

Re: lonely ig

Postby someone.else9 » Wed Nov 14, 2018 5:38 pm

upwards-is-the-aim wrote:And although mates at distance are not the same - they still have value

What interests did you used to have


I don’t care anymore. It’s not worth it yk. It’s juts so exhausting I’d rather just go home. There’s no stress when I’m home I don’t have to worry about these ppl yk or what they think of me or what’s wrong w me or whatever that makes it so hard to get close to ppl even tho I do try to. I was in a book club before: it’s dissolved now ig. I was in an international club but the events are during my classes or late at night when I’m already home and it’s a 40min drive back to university. It just doesn’t work out. Idk I don’t care anymore I’d rather be alone then try and convince ppl I worth being friends with or something I’m so tired yk. I draw and paint sometimes as well but I can’t bring myself to do it lately. I just don’t care. It’s not worth it and o feel like I won’t like the result and I don’t want to disappoint myself further I’m already a disappointment to myself I don’t even know why yk but I am. I also write creatively but idk I just can’t be bothered lately I’m too tired

someone.else9
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Nov 09, 2018 2:30 am

Re: lonely ig

Postby someone.else9 » Wed Nov 14, 2018 5:46 pm

looby143 wrote:So sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I am struggling at the moment as my son has suffered with psycosis after smoking weed. He has been in hospital and since coming out has recieved little support. It is so hard to stay positive. I am very interested in spirituality and it helps when you are not sure who to turn to. You are your best friend and there is so much information now that proves you can heal yourself if you change your mind set. It takes practice. Meditation has helped me to stay poitive. Read Joe Dispenzer Supernatural. It has scientific proof that we can change with meditation. It is facinating. Hang in there chick. Sending love and hugs.


Thank you. I’m sorry to hear about your son. I’ve been this way for a long time tho. This is just another relapse. I think I’m better but really it’s like I’ve just found more subtle ways to hurt myself that don’t leave scars. Drinking or other things. I feel like sometimes I don’t even crave the drunkenness just the hangover. Which sounds stupid idk I know it is but that’s how it feels. Idk sometimes I go through up periods where I’m positive and hopeful, then I fall apart and unravel. Idk I’m just compiling I know it doesn’t matter. idk I don’t wanna be noticed. I wanna hide this. I want it to go away. This sorrow yk. It’s not as bad as it’s been before but when it comes back like this even if I pray or something I don’t necessarily feel better. I go back and forth. Hope, despair, hope, despair. Maybe I feel them both at once? I despair when I hope I hope when I despair ig that’s why I’m not like dead or something is bc I still wanna believe things will get better. I do believe it ig but idk when or how to wait for that or what to do w all this sorrow yk Idk sorry for complaining

upwards-is-the-aim
Posts: 361
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:16 pm

Re: lonely ig

Postby upwards-is-the-aim » Wed Nov 14, 2018 7:29 pm

Hey complain away - you are dealing with some tough issues

Maybe try some internet friendships for a while

Also try and work out what type of people are your people - maybe you are trying to socialise with the wrong types
The battle then is to find those people - but it is a better use of your time and more liable to lead to results that are worthwhile for you

And choose clubs/events that do fit around your real world life - even if they are not as good in terms of your interests
Because one of your interests is to be sociable and that will do - be it flower arranging or hang gliding
Trying to help and be supportive to others on this forum is one of my attempts to reduce my own depression. Getting ourselves out of our own head circles is usually a good thing to do. Maybe try it yourself

someone.else9
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Nov 09, 2018 2:30 am

Re: lonely ig

Postby someone.else9 » Wed Nov 14, 2018 8:13 pm

upwards-is-the-aim wrote:Hey complain away - you are dealing with some tough issues

Maybe try some internet friendships for a while

Also try and work out what type of people are your people - maybe you are trying to socialise with the wrong types
The battle then is to find those people - but it is a better use of your time and more liable to lead to results that are worthwhile for you

And choose clubs/events that do fit around your real world life - even if they are not as good in terms of your interests
Because one of your interests is to be sociable and that will do - be it flower arranging or hang gliding


I actually have some internet friendships I feel like I’ve been relying on too much lately. I should leave them alone, I feel like I’m so annoying tbh. Also one of my internet friends...idk we had a great relationship. Like I’ve nevet met anyone I had that kinda connection with yk. But they left yk. And it was bc they thought they were a toxic person and stuff bc they’ve dealt w a lot of trauma and problems. I found out from one of their friends they quit their job irl.which is a big deal Idk. I’m sure his friend is looking out for him but she said he’s not coming back yk. He always said like “I don’t deserve you” idk I’ve never met anyone like that. It’s hard to explain but we were really close. Maybe more than friends yk. Idk what you can be w an online friend and I know it sounds stupid but ig I got attached yk and idk it was mutual too this connection it was just his personal issues and self image he couldn’t deal w. Idk I can’t explain it well. This sounds weird. Idk it was a close relationship but ig it’s over now. My other friends said you never know he might come back but yk idk makes me feel like what’s i do wrong what could I have done better I know it’s not my fault but I still feel like I could done better I should’ve done something different idek if he’s okay or not yk and idk ig I’ll never even know what happened. I know you should t eat too attached to online friends yk but idk we had a good connection I feel like I’m a better person bc I met him and stuff like that which is weird it just really fucking sucks yk idk I’m rambling again it’s whatever


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