Hi

[Foggy1]

I had a nightmare time trying to log in because i could not remember my user name and password but obviously i managed to get in at last. It's difficult because apart from my rapid cycling Bi polar 1 I am in the early stages of early onset of dementia.

I can't believe it is nearly six years since my last post but because of recent developments i am in need of support.

I spent all summer in hospital. I went in on the back of a massive high. I had an over sense of my own importance (embarrassing when i came down). I talked on several complex issues but worst than that i wanted to express my views on "speakers corner, panorama an d the social media. ThankGod I was in hospital with no access to lap tops etc .

I can not begin to express the euphoria manic episodes possess. I feel absolutely 'bomb proof' a sense of well-being is so acute when people tell me i am unwell i don't believe them. Everything goes so fast my thoughts, speech, etc. I get cross with those who can't keep up.

After my high i went into a crippling depression culminating to suicidal ideology so profound i dad a nurse sitting at arms length from me. Dreadful, things came to a head when i told my pdoc if given the opportunity i would put an end to things. Unfortunately this was said whilst my wife was present Something on my discharge, we both struggled with.

I can't come to terms with the distress i caused. After a short period of feeling well i now feel a bit flat. I hope i am not spiralling into a full blown depression.

Dear me such a long post, Sorry i apologise for this.

Take care

Foggy

[christabel]

Hi foggy and welcome back although I was not on during your last time.

You have had a dreadful time of things so well done for coming through it all.
Just remember anyone who can not empathise with your ill health is not worth bothering with.
Try and focus on getting better. Be kind and look after yourself.

Take care. Chris