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Should I see a Doctor?

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
replieswitharrogant
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:21 pm

Should I see a Doctor?

Postby replieswitharrogant » Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:23 pm

Hey team.

Just looking for a bit of advice here, as I'm not sure where to turn at the moment. About two years ago I experienced an episode of what I believe to be cannabis-induced psychosis, where for about five days I felt like my brain was stuck in a groundhog-day loop of forgetting who I was every few seconds, re-remembering and panicking about what was happening, and then forgetting again. For context, I was a casual cannabis user for at least a year previous to this, maybe once every month or so, but had never experienced any issues with it until that one evening.

It was like waking up from a dream but then realising you hadn't been sleeping at all, and it happened every few minutes for about five days straight. It was impossible to do anything but sob and panic - it felt like my brain was being ripped apart, constantly swinging between states of awareness and delusion. Every now and then I would hear ringing in my ears or noises like children laughing, and when I shut my eyes I could curiously see the pattern in a rug I had as a child. All I did was shut myself away and hope that it stopped happening - on the fifth day, *trig* I had decided that I would take my life if the episode did not stop the next day.

*end trig* Luckily it slowed down on the sixth day, enough to start trying to function again. Looking back I have no idea how I went through that without reaching out for help, as if it happened again now I would for sure call an ambulance or someone to take me to A&E. But I think I was just so terrified of doing anything other than staying in my room that I did nothing, and by the time the worst of it had passed I felt like no one would believe me if I said anything.

For about a year afterwards I felt severely depersonalised and I'm only now starting to feel like I actually exist (weird, I know, but I don't know how else to put it). Needless to say I haven't touched weed since. It's been on my mind a lot lately as I'm reflecting on the severity of it and doing research into why it could have happened, and almost every article suggests I could be susceptible to schizophrenia or another psychotic illness.

I'm so terrified to reach out to a doctor. Will I be dismissed as a case of smoking too much pot or something? Will anyone even believe me? Do I even need to see a doctor, if i'm just overreacting about the whole thing?

I'd really appreciate any kind of help here as I feel so out of my depth and have done for years.

Thank you so much for reading. <3

replieswitharrogant
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:21 pm

Re: Should I see a Doctor?

Postby replieswitharrogant » Fri Oct 12, 2018 11:05 am

Probably shouldn't have posted this late at night so I'm bumping it (if that's allowed?). Any help is so appreciated I'm just so stuck. :cry:

upwards-is-the-aim
Posts: 72
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:16 pm

Re: Should I see a Doctor?

Postby upwards-is-the-aim » Fri Oct 12, 2018 8:50 pm

So ...

Is there a current problem or just a past one that you want to understand better
Trying to help and be supportive to others on this forum is one of my attempts to reduce my own depression. Getting ourselves out of our own head circles is usually a good thing to do. Maybe try it yourself

replieswitharrogant
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:21 pm

Re: Should I see a Doctor?

Postby replieswitharrogant » Fri Oct 12, 2018 10:25 pm

upwards-is-the-aim wrote:So ...

Is there a current problem or just a past one that you want to understand better


Thank you for replying :)

I haven't had an episode like the previous one since, but I do struggle with feeling like I'm seeing things that aren't there still, especially when I'm tired. My cause for concern is my family history of severe mental illnesses... I'm so scared this is a sign of something major.

upwards-is-the-aim
Posts: 72
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:16 pm

Re: Should I see a Doctor?

Postby upwards-is-the-aim » Sat Oct 13, 2018 10:58 pm

Well maybe go and see a doctor then to reduce your worries about it

There is a danger than you will go round in circles and keep on doing so if you do not

But my advice would be to spend some real time documenting what you think the issues / problems / concerns
Do this first and then take it with you and use that as the focus for discussion

Otherwise what tends to happen is that what comes out of your mouth is a LOT more random and based on where your head/mood/memory is at the time
And then a small question or comment from your doctor sends you down a different path and the big concern gets lost

Just the process of carefully documenting will help you see more clearly what your concerns are

And the other great thing is that you can keep it and review it and updatte it and share it with another doctor if needed at some point down the line and then another if you get reffered etc

At the moment from the outside what you seem to be saying is that you are worried about something that might be absolute nothingness - the brain likes to do this to us
So the only solutions are - ignore/move on etc until something does actually happen or do something proactive to try and remove that worry

(There is an important comment in here - A truck might hit you tomorrow are you worrying about that)
Trying to help and be supportive to others on this forum is one of my attempts to reduce my own depression. Getting ourselves out of our own head circles is usually a good thing to do. Maybe try it yourself


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