When is it time to call on more help?

[supportivewife]

Hi Everyone,
Firstly, thanks again for reading my post. Everyone is really supportive of each other on here and it is reassuring to know that you can come on here and just talk freely. Anyway, my husband's mixed personality disorder and emotional unstability seems to be getting worse by the day and I am finding it increasingly difficult to cope and to help him. I spoke to my GP the other day there when I was there for myself and basically she told me to urge him to come for another appointment, but the thing is he won't leave the house because of his social anxieties and I can't get him to go anywhere unless it is for something really desperate like getting wood for his creative projects or doing a weekly shop and this is only around tea-time where there is no hope of him seeing a car parked awkwardly in the street (one thing that really upsets him). So there is absolutely no hope of getting him to the medical centre and I did say this to the GP which she understood, but realises that not much can be done otherwise. Anyway, on a daily basis he is argumentative and verbally abusive to me which I do put up with, but occasionally do snap and tell him to stop. The other night there he tried to start an argument saying I never support him because I didn't answer an email quick enough that he sent me and then he started bringing things up from the past which he does all the time. He then went into the bedroom and got my tablets from the cupboard and was going to take them. After much talking him around he finally relented and gave me back my tablets which I have since hidden. He keeps telling me that he is miserable and fed up with life and just wants to leave in a box. Then the next minute something can make him change his attitude and he is fine and happy again for a wee while. I am really worried about him and don't want to even go out and leave him for fear of him doing something bad. I have the phone number for the local Crisis Team, but unsure if I would be wasting their time as the GP did tell me that I should only phone them in the event of him doing something to harm himself. I have went to call them a couple of times and stopped because his mood has lifted and he really is resistant to doctors helping him. I feel out of my depth here and unsure what to do. His mood swings are getting worse and he doesn't take his tablets now. His cruel comments and name calling are getting worse too and I find that really hard to take. I suggest to him that we do things together like go for a walk or take up a hobby, but he just criticises me when I mention anything to him and tells me I have ruined his life and this is all my fault. The least thing just sends him into massive meltdown! I know everyone on here has their own troubles, but any advice would be really appreciated. Thanks to all. x

[depressedtodeath]

If he can't get out of the house you have good reason to ask the doc for a home visit.

[maisi]

Hi there,

That's a huge responsibility for you, sorry he's going through so much and putting you through so much too. I wouldn't wait too long to try again with getting some help- I think depressedtodeath is absolutely right- is a home visit an option with your GP practise? I'm surprised your GP wasn't more responsive when you talked to them. Or could you see your GP again for yourself, but only about what's happening?

I don't know if you see yourself as a carer but it sounds like you have a lot of care responsibilities- your local authority carer's service would be understanding and might have good advice and practical help.

[supportivewife]

Hello and sorry it has taken me so long to reply again. Thank you to you both for reading my post and offering good advice. My husband is still up and down and I so I will try to get the GP to do a home visit. I was surprised myself at the GP's answer when I told her how my husband was feeling, but then she hasn't saw him as he previously has only had phone appointments because he can't go out of the house. I know that I need to do something asap as his behaviour is getting worse and he knows this himself, but says that he can't help feeling the way he does which I know he can't. I don't know if the GP or CMHT has taken him seriously enough in the past as they knew about him self-harming in the past and he openly told them that he considered taking his own life. So we both feel somewhat let down by them. He was just given anti-depressants and discharged from CMHT's care. With regards to the carer's role, I am physically disabled and my husband is my official carer (which stresses him out at times and doesn't probably help his condition) but at times I do feel like I am caring for him with his mental health and trying to support him which is overwhelming me now. I am now waiting on an appointment to speak to a Psychologist to get help with how I am feeling with everything. Hopefully I can get some help for my husband as we can't go on like this. Thank you again for all your support and help. I do feel better when I come on here and receive such great support. x