I am reaching out in desperation. My Fiancé (who is diagnosed bipolar and on medication) had a close relationship with a female friend who is also bipolar. I originally completely supported this friendship because I could see the benefit he was getting from having someone who could relate to the challenges that they both experienced. She was also more recently diagnosed, so he also found that helping her to deal with her bipolar helped him. The problem arose when things got intimate between them, I was upset and made it clear that was not acceptable. They agreed never to do it again. Maybe I should have been harsher and insisted that they end the friendship but I didn't.
About two weeks ago, my fiancé spoke to me (he had been drinking) and said that he and female friend (she is polyamorous) wanted to get closer and asked if I would agree to that them spending more time together but he insisted that it wouldn't be sexual. I said no, that given their past, I was not comfortable with that. I explained that whilst I still supported their friendship, it had to remain as that. He agreed not to pursue it.
Then last weekend, it transpires that said female friend again said she wanted to spend considerably more time with him, I have scant details from my fiancé but I believe that this caused a row between them, which spilled over in to Monday. There was constant texting between them (literally he had his phone in his hand permanently) On Monday afternoon, he told me that she had told him to F. off out of her life and that she was no longer coming to our wedding (which is this Saturday) I tried to get more details but was met with anger and told to keep out of it.
As I've just mentioned, our wedding is 4 days away, I am still working in my high pressure job (until Thursday) and trying to finalise and organise all the last few pieces with absolutely no help from him, despite asking and even making a list of tasks that he could easily pick up. So last night in, unable to sleep and him asleep in the other room I sent him an email (he does not listen when he is in this mood, so email was my only choice and we have both used it successfully in the past a) trying to explain that I was upset that his entire focus was on his relationship with this other woman. That I was feeling very alone in our relationship, in what really should be one of our happiest times. That I was struggling with my emotions and I'mm be honest, jealousy that he was spending all his energy fighting with her, rather than help out.
Well that went down like a lead balloon. He is now not talking to me, he sent me a text stating, amongst other thing that he "isn't 100% sure he wants Saturday to go ahead at all" He also seems to be blaming me for the breakdown in their friendship, that he hopes that "I feel better, even if it is at his expense" and that "I win"
I am absolutely heartbroken and to be honest I do blame myself for not putting a stop to this the minute they were intimate. I can't share this with my family, my Mum would be distraught, my friends know nothing of their friendship and what transpired and I don't want to tell them, so I am all alone, having paid out thousands of pounds for a day that I am now absolutely dreading (if it in fact goes ahead)
I know no one can help fix this but I just needed to vent. Thank you for reading.