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If you're new and want to say hello...
deana26
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2018 5:19 am

Newbie

Postby deana26 » Fri Sep 14, 2018 6:13 am

Hi
really don't know how to do this, first time on here, trying to work out how to post so not sure if I am doing this right so far.
I wanted the rant room initially as I'm an addict and have relapsed and I am really angry with myself, pointless, I know, but I suppose I just want some kind of anon outlet :cry: I am sad, confused, :? angry :evil: , disappointed, :roll: ashamed :oops: and feel selfish and guilty.
I can't even say that I get anything from it genuinely!! Well, one small thing! I've lost a bit of weight through this relapse, that I've gained in recovery and yes I have to say I'm happy about that, I don't like having weight on me, it doesn't feel nice, it's really uncomfortable but omg I'm in a right mess now, it's going to take me ages to get out of the mess I'm in. And what's a bit of weight anyway? I'll get used to it. It's just that I really felt like I was living inside someone elses body! I was bigger than I've ever been in my life and it felt weird! I'm not on about the looks, I'm too old to be bothered about that now!
It's never even good, all I want is to feel chilled, feel nice, escape lifes pressures for a bit, but I don't, I just feel unwell and I don't like the shite I chat and the way I am when I'm wrecked ( if you can call it that cos it's shite anyway!) Oh what a life! I just want to be clean and healthy. whyyyyyy am I here!! Time to surrender...Again!!

Anyway, thank you for this space to do this. I hope I am not in an inappropriate space with my post, if I am please would you let me know and accept my apology. Hello, thanks for having me, I'm female, way too old to be still relapsing ( should have found my way by now) and from the North. This is all I wish to say :cry: :cry: Boohoo, poor me, pity party here!

capitalt
Posts: 190
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2018 4:22 pm

Re: Newbie

Postby capitalt » Fri Sep 14, 2018 10:52 am

Welcome and rant away, though rant room probably best.
I think I've been an addict too, though not drugs, alcohol, etc. Even so when we stop it's tough.
I'm 60 and only recently realised what I've been up to !!
Wishing you good luck.

bradjenkins
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:25 am

Re: Newbie

Postby bradjenkins » Thu Sep 20, 2018 9:49 am

Good luck. You'll find a lot of help here...

deana26 wrote:Hi
really don't know how to do this, first time on here, trying to work out how to post so not sure if I am doing this right so far.
I wanted the rant room initially as I'm an addict and have relapsed and I am really angry with myself, pointless, I know, but I suppose I just want some kind of anon outlet :cry: I am sad, confused, :? angry :evil: , disappointed, :roll: ashamed :oops: and feel selfish and guilty.
I can't even say that I get anything from it genuinely!! Well, one small thing! I've lost a bit of weight through this relapse, that I've gained in recovery and yes I have to say I'm happy about that, I don't like having weight on me, it doesn't feel nice, it's really uncomfortable but omg I'm in a right mess now, it's going to take me ages to get out of the mess I'm in. And what's a bit of weight anyway? I'll get used to it. It's just that I really felt like I was living inside someone elses body! I was bigger than I've ever been in my life and it felt weird! I'm not on about the looks, I'm too old to be bothered about that now!
It's never even good, all I want is to feel chilled, feel nice, escape lifes pressures for a bit, but I don't, I just feel unwell and I don't like the shite I chat and the way I am when I'm wrecked ( if you can call it that cos it's shite anyway!) Oh what a life! I just want to be clean and healthy. whyyyyyy am I here!! Time to surrender...Again!!

Anyway, thank you for this space to do this. I hope I am not in an inappropriate space with my post, if I am please would you let me know and accept my apology. Hello, thanks for having me, I'm female, way too old to be still relapsing ( should have found my way by now) and from the North. This is all I wish to say :cry: :cry: Boohoo, poor me, pity party here!

cookiemonster
Posts: 135
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 2:26 pm

Re: Newbie

Postby cookiemonster » Thu Sep 20, 2018 11:41 am

Well done for reaching out.

kayeight
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Sep 18, 2018 2:51 pm

Re: Newbie

Postby kayeight » Fri Sep 21, 2018 1:54 pm

You cracked this before before so you will do it again. You've only relapsed its not that big a deal. Forgive yourself, be nice to yourself, you are OK and you will be again.


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