i really need to talk to someone. i have been friends with someone for around a month and we have gotten really close. purely platonic. we speak for at least 5 hours most days but we def speak every single day. initially knowing we both have mental health issues was a massive help. he has given me advice, i have talked him down when he was having a panic attack. we love each other and we have become best friends.
however the last week or so we have triggered each other, the most recent being last night when i had a massive panic attack and tried to deal with it alone. my paranoia made me think that he wouldn't want to know about it so to stop myself from messaging him i blocked him. i blocked him not because of anything he did but because i thought i was protecting him myself. i also hadn't realised that he would be able to tell that i had blocked him. so this morning i wake up to messages from another account asking why i had blocked him and to let him know what he had done wrong.
i really hurt him. he told me that he spent the night worrying and being paranoid about when he had done and it made him sick. he started saying that he cannot do this anymore and wanted to be numb. i got super worried he was going to hurt himself. its an online friends he lives in scotland i live in south wales. anyway it all ended with him saying....
"Neither of us are in a good place mentally, I thought we could help each other and work through it but feels like we both trigger each other, i now understand why you blocked me, I get it now, my heart is breaking,you are my best friend I love you very much Becs"
i get it, i understand why he has said that but is that the way it has to be? can two people with mental health not be friends because we trigger each other.
HELP i need advice please?!?