Hi gandalf the second (or third? I'm not well versed in the chronicles, but there were 2 incarnations I'm sure),
It's great you've been able to express how you feel, it's really painful going through this stuff on your own. I don't work and find it hard to imagine how tough it must be trying to keep it going during peak mental health issues. The reactions of people at work must make you feel a lot worse, it's the last thing you need to feel like your wellbeing is an inconvenience, what you need is patience and understanding of depression, and the right treatment approach. It sounds like your family are understanding?
I'm sure that how you're feeling is clouding your judgement, as I understand it that's totally normal with depression and many other difficulties. I'm trying to learn some better perspective in my life, regarding how sure I am that x is true, only to find a few weeks later that it wasn't.
Look, someone who picks fatgandalf as a username is already spreading light in the world in the midst of their own suffering, so please chat more on the forum, there are many people struggling with depression here, and also many diversions and friends x