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Advice please

If you're concerned about, or care for, someone with mental illness
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Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2018 5:28 pm

Advice please

Postby lorrielou » Wed Sep 05, 2018 6:10 pm

Hi. I am brand new to this, but I have 21 year old daughter who has had severe anxiety since she was 14, mainly brought on by being bullied through school, she was under our local Cahms team who to be honest were not really that great. My daughter has always been quite highly strung, and has quite a negative out look on most things, she has overdosed and self harmed by burning and cutting underneath her breasts, she is also very volitile and prone to get very frustrated and angry where she would scream abuse and hurt us, and there were times when we had to restrain her so she couldn't hurt us or herself. But things got progressively worse when whilst at university she was spiked and had an extremely bad trip where she saw her own death.. This has now brought on severe PTSD where she has triggers that can really affect her in ways like as above she becomes extremely aggressive towards her fiance, verbally and physically. She has sleep paralysis, and has started again to say she will kill herself threatening to drink bleach and stab herself, she is having Cbt atm ad soon they plan to regress her and she has told us she can get worse before she gets better. as parents we really don't know where to turn and feel isolated, we are scared to death she will do something terrible we are always on a knife edge waiting for the next phone call. Her fiance has been a rock for her, but he bottles a lot up, but we do know he is at his wits end as he feels like he can't help her either. I think what I'm trying to say is who do we turn to, what help do we get, we love her so much and just want our happy loving daughter back. My heart is breaking as I write this, I would appreciate any ideas to help us through this awful stage, but we are scared to death. Thanks for reading. X

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Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:33 pm
Location: England (North East)

Re: Advice please

Postby tofler » Thu Sep 06, 2018 7:34 am

Hi lorrielou, welcome to the forum! I'm really sorry to hear about all the difficulties that your daughter is dealing with and the huge amount of worry that this must be causing you. If I was in your position I'd be looking for ways to try and increase the level of support that your daughter has in her life. At the moment it sounds like she has you, her fiance and a CBT therapist. Universities have been criticised in the news recently for not providing enough support for students who are struggling with mental health difficulties. Maybe you could try and use this to get some more support put in place for your daughter?

For example, how did she come to be receiving CBT, did this happen via her GP or via university welfare services? Has she seen a GP recently and is she prescribed any medication to help with her anxiety and low mood? If not, I would encourage her to explore this option and she might need your help to do this. Has she been in touch with the university's welfare services and is there any additional support that they can put in place? Are any of the tutors on her course aware of the difficulties that she is experiencing and is there any additional support that they can put in place? Might it be better if your daughter took a break from studying to concentrate on improving her mh and then return to her course next September? Finally, is your daughter receiving any support from a community mental health team? This is something that her GP would need to refer her to, but some input from a CPN (community psychiatric nurse) might also be useful.

I would also encourage your daughter and her fiance to read online about self-care for mental health to make sure that they're taking care of their basic needs e.g. getting enough sleep and having a good sleep routine, eating 3 small meals a day, doing gentle exercise on a regular basis, avoiding alcohol and illegal drugs, learning about mindfulness and other relaxation techniques.

Anyway, sorry for rambling on and for me asking so many questions! Best of luck to you all. Please let us know how things are going and please continue to use this forum for support whenever you need to. It does take a while to get replies though because it's a fairly quiet forum!

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