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Hi - New here.

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katie-05
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 1:13 pm

Hi - New here.

Postby katie-05 » Sat Aug 11, 2018 1:21 pm

Hello,
This is the first time I've ever done this sort of thing, but I am getting to the point where I don't know what to really do next... A lot of rubbish things have happened in my life, throughout my childhood and up to now. I don't feel like I can express my feelings of depression and anxiety to the people around me, as those issues are why I have barely got anyone to talk to anymore. I know it is my fault, but I am struggling now.. More than I have for a while.

I have that awful feeling in your chest, like there's a ton of weight on it, making every breath too much effort. I mix from feeling numb to be worrying about everything I do. My anxiety has been spiking a lot as well. An ex partner of mine had emetophobia, and traits of it have been rubbing off on me. A family member had a sickness bug yesterday and I was too scared to use that bathroom. I bought my own soap just for me to use and hand sanitiser. Worrying about getting sick from my last bout of illness a few months ago is really starting to affect me.

I feel as though everything I do is worthless, that in my 19 years of living, people would be better off without me.

I am sorry for this being really long for a newbie post - Just needed somewhere to vent.

Thank you.

eternalflame
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 10:10 pm

Re: Hi - New here.

Postby eternalflame » Sat Aug 11, 2018 1:27 pm

Hi Katie,
Welcome to the forum
Sorry your struggling.
Always here to listen.
I have anxiety and depression too, hope you don't catch the sickness bug.
Take care

cookiemonster
Posts: 135
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 2:26 pm

Re: Hi - New here.

Postby cookiemonster » Sat Aug 11, 2018 4:19 pm

Hi and welcome. Sending a hug
I have anxiety and depression to. Are you getting any professional help - medication or therapy?
Have you tried a support group to meet people similar where you can share your thoughts and feelings?

katie-05
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 1:13 pm

Re: Hi - New here.

Postby katie-05 » Sat Aug 11, 2018 5:59 pm

Hi Cookiemonster,

Whilst in school around age 15-16 i had some CBT therapy but I left because I didn't want to burden my father who took me to each session so I left. I regret leaving, even if I didn't think it was helping. I haven't seeked help since. Not gone on any medication either. I have not tried a support group. Primarily because when i do speak about how I feel, I am either in floods of tears, too anxious to say how i feel, or just cannot express it.

I hope you take care and look after yourself.

lonelybrokenheart
Posts: 29
Joined: Sat Jul 14, 2018 4:00 am

Re: Hi - New here.

Postby lonelybrokenheart » Sun Aug 12, 2018 10:03 am

Lol bless. I don't think you'll get ill from a family member having the shits. :P You aren't worthless at all, you silly sausage.

keepingfaith
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2018 11:04 am

Re: Hi - New here.

Postby keepingfaith » Tue Aug 14, 2018 12:00 pm

katie-05 wrote:Hello,
This is the first time I've ever done this sort of thing, but I am getting to the point where I don't know what to really do next... A lot of rubbish things have happened in my life, throughout my childhood and up to now. I don't feel like I can express my feelings of depression and anxiety to the people around me, as those issues are why I have barely got anyone to talk to anymore. I know it is my fault, but I am struggling now.. More than I have for a while.

I have that awful feeling in your chest, like there's a ton of weight on it, making every breath too much effort. I mix from feeling numb to be worrying about everything I do. My anxiety has been spiking a lot as well. An ex partner of mine had emetophobia, and traits of it have been rubbing off on me. A family member had a sickness bug yesterday and I was too scared to use that bathroom. I bought my own soap just for me to use and hand sanitiser. Worrying about getting sick from my last bout of illness a few months ago is really starting to affect me.

I feel as though everything I do is worthless, that in my 19 years of living, people would be better off without me.

I am sorry for this being really long for a newbie post - Just needed somewhere to vent.

Thank you.


Hi Katie, I can see you joined a few days ago- I joined today.

Despite your difficulties it's clear to see that you're very self-aware and in touch with your emotions. I hope writing gives you a sense of clarity- I think for me I'm still trying to navigate how best to express myself and actually acknowledge what's going on in my head and your post has given me a healthy reminder that I need to start journaling!

I can entirely relate to this sense of flitting between feeling numb and then worrying about everything- I have anxiety and depression and it can be so debilitating , it's like walking around and being so trapped, seeing everyone do things so easily but it's so hard for me and I feel out of touch with the world. It's lonely.

I don't know if you can private message on here but I am thinking of you and I hope you can find the support you need on here.

x

katie-05
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 1:13 pm

Re: Hi - New here.

Postby katie-05 » Tue Aug 14, 2018 1:24 pm

keepingfaith wrote:
katie-05 wrote:Hello,
This is the first time I've ever done this sort of thing, but I am getting to the point where I don't know what to really do next... A lot of rubbish things have happened in my life, throughout my childhood and up to now. I don't feel like I can express my feelings of depression and anxiety to the people around me, as those issues are why I have barely got anyone to talk to anymore. I know it is my fault, but I am struggling now.. More than I have for a while.

I have that awful feeling in your chest, like there's a ton of weight on it, making every breath too much effort. I mix from feeling numb to be worrying about everything I do. My anxiety has been spiking a lot as well. An ex partner of mine had emetophobia, and traits of it have been rubbing off on me. A family member had a sickness bug yesterday and I was too scared to use that bathroom. I bought my own soap just for me to use and hand sanitiser. Worrying about getting sick from my last bout of illness a few months ago is really starting to affect me.

I feel as though everything I do is worthless, that in my 19 years of living, people would be better off without me.

I am sorry for this being really long for a newbie post - Just needed somewhere to vent.

Thank you.


Hi Katie, I can see you joined a few days ago- I joined today.

Despite your difficulties it's clear to see that you're very self-aware and in touch with your emotions. I hope writing gives you a sense of clarity- I think for me I'm still trying to navigate how best to express myself and actually acknowledge what's going on in my head and your post has given me a healthy reminder that I need to start journaling!

I can entirely relate to this sense of flitting between feeling numb and then worrying about everything- I have anxiety and depression and it can be so debilitating , it's like walking around and being so trapped, seeing everyone do things so easily but it's so hard for me and I feel out of touch with the world. It's lonely.

I don't know if you can private message on here but I am thinking of you and I hope you can find the support you need on here.

x


Hi keepingfaith,
Thank you for what you said. I really appreciate it. I am unsure if you can private message, but I did add you as a friend lol. I hope you are having a good day today and remember that despite thus struggle, everything will be okay in the end. Just gotta keep fighting x

tofler
Posts: 291
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:33 pm
Location: England (North East)

Re: Hi - New here.

Postby tofler » Mon Aug 20, 2018 8:51 am

Hi katie-05, hello and welcome to the forum! It's often not easy talking to family and friends about how we're feeling when we're struggling with mh difficulties and sometimes it's not a good idea to try and talk to family and friends because they might start to worry a lot about us or they might make things worse by being unhelpful and unsupportive (e.g. telling us to "pull yourself together, stop being lazy, stop being silly" etc). If you've got nobody to talk to about all this, talk to us on here instead. Tell us all about how you're feeling and what you're struggling with on a day to day basis. From reading some of the other threads on the forum you'll see that there are lots of other people who are also struggling with life and with mh problems. Replying to other people on here and offering support to them can also be a useful way of helping ourselves because it can give us new ideas to try.

Telephone support lines might give you another way of talking to someone, or a local support group or having some appointments with a therapist or counsellor. Different things work for different people. If you want to know a bit more about my situation and difficulties there's some info in my profile which you can find by clicking / tapping on my username.


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