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Hi - New here.

If you're new and want to say hello...
katie-05
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 1:13 pm

Hi - New here.

Postby katie-05 » Sat Aug 11, 2018 1:21 pm

Hello,
This is the first time I've ever done this sort of thing, but I am getting to the point where I don't know what to really do next... A lot of rubbish things have happened in my life, throughout my childhood and up to now. I don't feel like I can express my feelings of depression and anxiety to the people around me, as those issues are why I have barely got anyone to talk to anymore. I know it is my fault, but I am struggling now.. More than I have for a while.

I have that awful feeling in your chest, like there's a ton of weight on it, making every breath too much effort. I mix from feeling numb to be worrying about everything I do. My anxiety has been spiking a lot as well. An ex partner of mine had emetophobia, and traits of it have been rubbing off on me. A family member had a sickness bug yesterday and I was too scared to use that bathroom. I bought my own soap just for me to use and hand sanitiser. Worrying about getting sick from my last bout of illness a few months ago is really starting to affect me.

I feel as though everything I do is worthless, that in my 19 years of living, people would be better off without me.

I am sorry for this being really long for a newbie post - Just needed somewhere to vent.

Thank you.

eternalflame
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 10:10 pm

Re: Hi - New here.

Postby eternalflame » Sat Aug 11, 2018 1:27 pm

Hi Katie,
Welcome to the forum
Sorry your struggling.
Always here to listen.
I have anxiety and depression too, hope you don't catch the sickness bug.
Take care

cookiemonster
Posts: 38
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 2:26 pm

Re: Hi - New here.

Postby cookiemonster » Sat Aug 11, 2018 4:19 pm

Hi and welcome. Sending a hug
I have anxiety and depression to. Are you getting any professional help - medication or therapy?
Have you tried a support group to meet people similar where you can share your thoughts and feelings?

katie-05
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 1:13 pm

Re: Hi - New here.

Postby katie-05 » Sat Aug 11, 2018 5:59 pm

Hi Cookiemonster,

Whilst in school around age 15-16 i had some CBT therapy but I left because I didn't want to burden my father who took me to each session so I left. I regret leaving, even if I didn't think it was helping. I haven't seeked help since. Not gone on any medication either. I have not tried a support group. Primarily because when i do speak about how I feel, I am either in floods of tears, too anxious to say how i feel, or just cannot express it.

I hope you take care and look after yourself.

lonelybrokenheart
Posts: 29
Joined: Sat Jul 14, 2018 4:00 am

Re: Hi - New here.

Postby lonelybrokenheart » Sun Aug 12, 2018 10:03 am

Lol bless. I don't think you'll get ill from a family member having the shits. :P You aren't worthless at all, you silly sausage.

keepingfaith
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2018 11:04 am

Re: Hi - New here.

Postby keepingfaith » Tue Aug 14, 2018 12:00 pm

katie-05 wrote:Hello,
This is the first time I've ever done this sort of thing, but I am getting to the point where I don't know what to really do next... A lot of rubbish things have happened in my life, throughout my childhood and up to now. I don't feel like I can express my feelings of depression and anxiety to the people around me, as those issues are why I have barely got anyone to talk to anymore. I know it is my fault, but I am struggling now.. More than I have for a while.

I have that awful feeling in your chest, like there's a ton of weight on it, making every breath too much effort. I mix from feeling numb to be worrying about everything I do. My anxiety has been spiking a lot as well. An ex partner of mine had emetophobia, and traits of it have been rubbing off on me. A family member had a sickness bug yesterday and I was too scared to use that bathroom. I bought my own soap just for me to use and hand sanitiser. Worrying about getting sick from my last bout of illness a few months ago is really starting to affect me.

I feel as though everything I do is worthless, that in my 19 years of living, people would be better off without me.

I am sorry for this being really long for a newbie post - Just needed somewhere to vent.

Thank you.


Hi Katie, I can see you joined a few days ago- I joined today.

Despite your difficulties it's clear to see that you're very self-aware and in touch with your emotions. I hope writing gives you a sense of clarity- I think for me I'm still trying to navigate how best to express myself and actually acknowledge what's going on in my head and your post has given me a healthy reminder that I need to start journaling!

I can entirely relate to this sense of flitting between feeling numb and then worrying about everything- I have anxiety and depression and it can be so debilitating , it's like walking around and being so trapped, seeing everyone do things so easily but it's so hard for me and I feel out of touch with the world. It's lonely.

I don't know if you can private message on here but I am thinking of you and I hope you can find the support you need on here.

x

katie-05
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 1:13 pm

Re: Hi - New here.

Postby katie-05 » Tue Aug 14, 2018 1:24 pm

keepingfaith wrote:
katie-05 wrote:Hello,
This is the first time I've ever done this sort of thing, but I am getting to the point where I don't know what to really do next... A lot of rubbish things have happened in my life, throughout my childhood and up to now. I don't feel like I can express my feelings of depression and anxiety to the people around me, as those issues are why I have barely got anyone to talk to anymore. I know it is my fault, but I am struggling now.. More than I have for a while.

I have that awful feeling in your chest, like there's a ton of weight on it, making every breath too much effort. I mix from feeling numb to be worrying about everything I do. My anxiety has been spiking a lot as well. An ex partner of mine had emetophobia, and traits of it have been rubbing off on me. A family member had a sickness bug yesterday and I was too scared to use that bathroom. I bought my own soap just for me to use and hand sanitiser. Worrying about getting sick from my last bout of illness a few months ago is really starting to affect me.

I feel as though everything I do is worthless, that in my 19 years of living, people would be better off without me.

I am sorry for this being really long for a newbie post - Just needed somewhere to vent.

Thank you.


Hi Katie, I can see you joined a few days ago- I joined today.

Despite your difficulties it's clear to see that you're very self-aware and in touch with your emotions. I hope writing gives you a sense of clarity- I think for me I'm still trying to navigate how best to express myself and actually acknowledge what's going on in my head and your post has given me a healthy reminder that I need to start journaling!

I can entirely relate to this sense of flitting between feeling numb and then worrying about everything- I have anxiety and depression and it can be so debilitating , it's like walking around and being so trapped, seeing everyone do things so easily but it's so hard for me and I feel out of touch with the world. It's lonely.

I don't know if you can private message on here but I am thinking of you and I hope you can find the support you need on here.

x


Hi keepingfaith,
Thank you for what you said. I really appreciate it. I am unsure if you can private message, but I did add you as a friend lol. I hope you are having a good day today and remember that despite thus struggle, everything will be okay in the end. Just gotta keep fighting x


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