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Accepting that i wont find a girlfriend.

Sometimes you just need to let off steam...
wight58
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 1:01 am

Accepting that i wont find a girlfriend.

Postby wight58 » Sat Aug 11, 2018 1:25 am

Hey all!

Rant time............

Did some googling and found this fourm, First off this isnt a rant to make people feel sorry for me, this isnt a rant for attention. This is just me letting off some steam, if you do want to reply and offer some advice then great, if someone wants to give advice i would request that its how to live with how things are and to forget dating and thinking about getting a girlfriend, i want to enjoy what i have now and what ive worked hard for.

Im 30 years old, ive also found im balding which seems to hurt things even more. dating has been a constant battle for me, im confident on the outside and very outgoing. I seem to make girls laugh, i have no issue asking girls out given the chance, i get rejected left right and centre. I look after myself physically, im not overweight and i exercise 5 times a week, im 5ft 11" so im not short. looking at my photos with groups of friends i am the ugly one.

I remember when i was 18 i thought things would get better, but now at the age of 30 ive realised, its just not going to happen. Ive just seen a girl walk up to my friend and give him her number, he didnt do anything to get this.

Ive had enough of looking in the mirror and seeing my stupid face, ive had enough of being depressed in trying to find some one. life is too short and i want to enjoy life in other ways.

Im very lucky in some ways, my family are amazing, ive got my own house, my car isnt too shabby, ive got great pets, im stable with money at the moment, But i have this constant unhappyness that i havnt found a girlfriend yet.

I want this to stop, i want to stop searching, accept that its not going to happen, accept i am ugly. I exercise and keep fit for me and me only. ive got some good things going in my life, ive had enough of this constant shadow of saddness that i want to share it with some one. Im also annoyed at my self for feeling depressed. There are people out there who have far less then i do and dying of hunger, yet i have this constant dark cloud over my head chipping away at me.

Im hoping some how i can stop looking for a partner/girlfriend to share my life with, and enjoy life how it is.

If anyone has any advice on how to stop thinking about finding a partner then great, but over all this is just to vent my frustration and hoping somehow this helps me get this off my chest.


Thanks for reading.

sirhugo
Posts: 551
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: Accepting that i wont find a girlfriend.

Postby sirhugo » Sat Aug 11, 2018 10:29 am

Your story resonates with me as several years back I was in a very similar mind-set to you. I was miserable due to my lack of success with women. so one day I decided to stop trying as I wasn't going to happen

a few months later I found a girlfriend. ten years later were still together and she is the love of my life

honestly, looking back I think the reason I got her was that I wasn't trying. If you really want a girlfriend, sometimes you can come across a bit desperate and girls pick up on that. I've asked girls about this and they say they are more interested in men who and laid back and nonchalant than men who seem over keen

so being honest, if you do stop trying as you said, that might be the best thing you could do :D
but don't do if for the wrong reasons. as you said, do it so you can enjoy other things in life, like friends, family and work. distract yourself with a busy lifestyle. nothing will make you mope about your problems more than sitting around doing nothing

most of all, believe that you are worthy of a girlfriend and it will happen someday

good luck

earth
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2018 10:56 pm

Re: Accepting that i wont find a girlfriend.

Postby earth » Wed Aug 15, 2018 9:12 pm

Awww don't be sad! (even tho it's easier said than done)

I have a few friends that have the same "issue" as you. I keep telling them to stop thinking about finding a partner because it won't work that way. Let it come naturally. Let me tell you a secret that all women love...it's not appearance if that's what you think. The secret is ----> Confidence. Women love men who have confidence regardless of how they look. Their personalities and their confidence shines 1000000% more than looks.

30 is so young and you're overthinking to be honest. If you really, really want to meet someone right now then I would suggest dating sites. I have a few friends that have done that and found someone they really click with. It's not that bad as everyone says it is, trust me.

Hope that helps.

Isap
Posts: 1639
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:13 pm

Re: Accepting that i wont find a girlfriend.

Postby Isap » Thu Aug 16, 2018 12:07 pm

I'm surprised I have the energy to reply.

You don't need a partner yet. Just because everyone else seems to have one.

Yes, dating sites are the way to go, be honest on your profile and patient. Don't do a rushed job and try and find someone locally.

Sex is not necessary. Don't be misled by advertising. Start with friendship and companionship. That is all that matters in the long term anyway.

Take your time.

Isap

sammy
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2018 1:26 am

Re: Accepting that i wont find a girlfriend.

Postby sammy » Tue Aug 28, 2018 5:17 pm

Hi, I'm glad you found this space to rant, it's important to get this all out.

Also I wouldn't feel guilty over wanting a partner - almost all of us do and we're human after all. Yes you may not be starving, and you're thankful for that, but what you're feeling is legitimate. When you've accepted you are feeling down about this, and that it's okay too, you can deal with the feeling itself. If it makes sense, you might not be able to change the situation at the moment, but now you can begin to tolerate then change how you feel about it.

Having said that, I don't believe you'll be in this situation forever at all. But you can start to change how you feel about it in the interim, like you are beginning to now.

All the best wishes to you

thenewkgb
Posts: 36
Joined: Fri Oct 05, 2018 8:28 pm

Re: Accepting that i wont find a girlfriend.

Postby thenewkgb » Sun Oct 07, 2018 12:52 am

People rely on love too much. It seems the best thing in the world. Happiness is the goal in life. Everyone searches for it. Why is that?


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