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can’t stop thinking about suicide

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jh2999
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jul 24, 2018 10:26 am

can’t stop thinking about suicide

Postby jh2999 » Tue Jul 31, 2018 5:46 pm

’m 24. I currently live in a city around 5 hours from where I grew up, where my parents and best friends live. I’m meant to be going to uni here in September but have been living here and working for over a year. I was living with a close friend however some arguments happened and it was a toxic friendship so I moved and now rent a room in a house with one other person. We get on but are not really good friends and don’t really see each other much. I started on antidepressants 4 years ago have had some time off them when I felt better but always ended up back on them and now accept I might have to be forever. I just started going to counselling at my doctors surgery. My depression has got much worse in the last few months and although I am functioning, going to work etc I do not feel good. I feel hopeless and cannot see a good future. I have thought about suicide every day for a while. I’ve got close to doing it, the only thing stopping me the thought it might not work and I’d be worse off than ever. I have recently had a couple of weeks off work to try to sort my stuff out but it’s not really helped. I’ve talked to my parents and a couple of close friends about my depression. So I feel like I’ve done everything - ADs, counselling, talking - that is suggested and it isn’t helping. I don’t have many friends here and no super close friends, only really people from work who I don’t see often as my job is lone working and my brother lives here but again don’t see him often. So I spend a lot of time alone. The only way I see any hope is moving back to my hometown. I love the place and I think having people close to me around me to socialise with will help get me better. I can’t see how I can get better when I spend all my time alone despite any amount of counselling and medication.

However this obviously means giving up my uni place at a good uni and everyone knowing that. Feel like a fairlure if I do it. I’ll have to live with my parents for a while at least. But if it means I can be happy or get on the road to being happy is it worth it?

I genuinely feel like if I carry on here I will end up dead because each week the suicidal thoughts get more and more of a real option and not just a passing thought. I’ve looked up ways to do it, I’ve thought what I would write in a note, where I’d go. I don’t want to do that to my family and friends. Please give me some advice?

capitalt
Posts: 190
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2018 4:22 pm

Re: can’t stop thinking about suicide

Postby capitalt » Wed Aug 01, 2018 12:28 pm

Perhaps moving back home would be best where help can be given and a way forward worked out.
Uni seems like to much of a challenge for now.
Good luck

zabeth
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2018 10:02 pm

Re: can’t stop thinking about suicide

Postby zabeth » Wed Aug 01, 2018 11:02 pm

You will feel happier at home if you felt happier there before. I understand and empathise with your sadness it must be awful. I really hope something works for you. There's always another way you just have to open your mind and become more aware of your surroundings. There is hope for success apart from uni you can get a job so you can be always with people you love.

cookiemonster
Posts: 135
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 2:26 pm

Re: can’t stop thinking about suicide

Postby cookiemonster » Sat Aug 04, 2018 4:24 pm

Moving home would be best for now. Giving you people that
Love you around to support you. Be honest with them about how you rate feeling and seek some help.

teamn
Posts: 460
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: can’t stop thinking about suicide

Postby teamn » Mon Aug 27, 2018 2:13 pm

Sorry for such a delayed response to this I hope you come back and see some of the words of support offered to you it’s a sow site but we care and someone wil always respon.

Let us know how your doing


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