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Moving back to hometown

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jh2999
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jul 24, 2018 10:26 am

Moving back to hometown

Postby jh2999 » Tue Jul 31, 2018 3:01 pm

I’m 24. I currently live in a city around 5 hours from where I grew up, where my parents and best friends live. I’m meant to be going to uni here in September but have been living here and working for over a year. I was living with a close friend however some arguments happened and it was a toxic friendship so I moved and now rent a room in a house with one other person. We get on but are not really good friends and don’t really see each other much. I started on antidepressants 4 years ago have had some time off them when I felt better but always ended up back on them and now accept I might have to be forever. I just started going to counselling at my doctors surgery. My depression has got much worse in the last few months and although I am functioning, going to work etc I do not feel good. I feel hopeless and cannot see a good future. I have thought about suicide every day for a while. I’ve got close to doing it, the only thing stopping me the thought it might not work and I’d be worse off than ever. I have recently had a couple of weeks off work to try to sort my stuff out but it’s not really helped. I’ve talked to my parents and a couple of close friends about my depression. So I feel like I’ve done everything - ADs, counselling, talking - that is suggested and it isn’t helping. I don’t have many friends here and no super close friends, only really people from work who I don’t see often as my job is lone working and my brother lives here but again don’t see him often. So I spend a lot of time alone. The only way I see any hope is moving back to my hometown. I love the place and I think having people close to me around me to socialise with will help get me better. I can’t see how I can get better when I spend all my time alone despite any amount of counselling and medication.

However this obviously means giving up my uni place at a good uni and everyone knowing that. Feel like a fairlure if I do it. I’ll have to live with my parents for a while at least. But if it means I can be happy or get on the road to being happy is it worth it?

I genuinely feel like if I carry on here I will end up dead because each week the suicidal thoughts get more and more of a real option and not just a passing thought. I’ve looked up ways to do it, I’ve thought what I would write in a note, where I’d go. I don’t want to do that to my family and friends. Please give me some advice?

riskchris
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2018 7:49 pm

Re: Moving back to hometow

Postby riskchris » Sun Aug 05, 2018 8:14 pm

Hi
I have long suffered from depression and have lost both my parents in the past two years, which really has not made things batter. At the moment I really hate my job and on the look out for another. In the beginning I kept thinking that I was running away from my problems but my therapist helped me realise that I was running TOWARDS something. It took me a while to actually believe that that was the case, but I do now. I also want to live closer to my brother (who lives in Copenhagen and I live at the other end of Denmark), since he is now my closest family relation and is also a huge factor in my desicion to get another job. So I absolutely understand that you want to live nearer to your patents and close friends.

I think you are very strong for making the decission (almost) to move back home. It is a very mature consideration you made.

I hope this made sense and is of some help to you.
Sincerely Christine


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